Samah’s latest book, Familiar Strangers, tells the story of Priya and Chirag who like several other modern couples, are living life at breackneck speed and are unknowingly stuck in the rut of a marriage that is dying, if not already dead.
A marriage usually doesn’t go from “‘I am yours forever” to “drop dead, we’re getting divorced”. It does have a plethora of red flags in between. But would you recognize these warning signs if you saw them? Priyan and Chirag’s relationship starts to change when Chirag’s ex-girlfriend returns when they least expect it. Was that a sign of their dying relationship?
Here we have 5 warning signs most couples miss out on:
1. When you two no longer communicate
A sign of a healthy and loving relationship is an open and honest communication. If you and your partner are not talking or communicating with each other, then you should be worried. Failing marriages lose interest in solving problems or resolving arguments. There are fewer meaningful discussions or mutual goals and challenges to look forward to.
2. Intimacy is non-existent
Intimacy not only refers to sex but could also include gestures like holding hands, hugging, cuddling or holding each other. Lack of intimacy is the easiest way to know that a relationship is in trouble. If you and your partner feel more like roommates rather than a couple sharing a beautiful marriage, you seem to have lost a building block of your relationship.
3. You don’t fight at all
In a relationship, partners are bound to have expectations from each other. If those expectations aren’t met, couples tend to fight. But those fights take place because the relationship is worth fighting for. If couples start to avoid conflict and refuse to share their true feelings, they run the risk of repressing their feelings which ultimately leads to resentment, bitterness and anger.
4. When your partner stops making you feel special
Every couple has a tradition or an activity they love indulging in. Think watching movies, cooking for one another or travelling together. When you see a sharp decline in your partner’s efforts to make you feel special or a complete disinterest in doing things they once did for you, you should be wary.
5. The entry of the dreaded ex
Your marriage is most likely over if your partner is speaking to their ex. Marriage is serious business and requires full dedication and commitment. If you are truly into your partner, you wouldn’t feel the need to talk to your ex-lover. So when your partner is suddenly in touch with their ex, then that’s probably the tell-tale sign that they want out.