In Thinking of Winter, Shantanu Naidu reflects on isolation, responsibility, and the small, life-altering choices we make in moments of despair. The following excerpt captures the quiet transformation that begins when Winter enters his life.
Know more!
***
People do selfish things when they are lonely. I don’t know if that justifies it, but I did them too.
In the eighth month of university, all the love letters posted abroad were spent, all the attempts to make friends had failed, and all that there was to do at the end of every day at Cornell, was to look in the mirror in disbelief: This was not how I thought it would be.
I would like to believe that a lot of smaller breakdowns over a longer period of time lead to a single moment that brings you to your knees and makes you give up once and for all. It can be losing your keys, or a phone call that wasn’t picked up, or missing the last bus home.
But what did ‘giving up’ even mean? There was a library of answers to that question. I, however, chose the most selfish one.
His name, was Winter.
Let’s be abundantly clear. Bad dogs do not exist. This is a blanket rule. There are no bad dogs, and we could, of course, delve deeper into unpacking this and talk about bad parenting and other reasons for some dear souls come to have behaviours that make them seem like bad boys, but for now, we’re just going to establish the inexistence of bad dogs.
I am in favour and support of a very large community of human beings who greet every dog with ‘whoozagoodboy’’ and sure enough the answer is and always should be, hesagoodboy.
But not Winter, no. A few million times during this story I will remind you with sweet frustration that I simply do not know what it was: genetics, soul, character or maybe something beyond our limited understanding of the world. But I do not know what was wrong with Winter.
Winter was a golden retriever, a runtof-the-litter puppy in a far-off town called Moravia while I studied in Ithaca. Forsakenness had me ride there, claim him one night in the fall of 2016, and bring him home a month later with the only friend I had: a Taiwanese introvert called Wen-Ko.
In the first week of Winter in my student apartment, while I contemplated daily whether I was even remotely capable of taking care of another life, Winter was busy stuffing himself in every gap that could be defined as one, even the ones that barely qualified. The only way to find him was to spot an absolute bushy butt sticking out of one place or the other. Some days easy to spot, some days laying still, waiting to be discovered, or worse, rescued.
As the urine stains on the carpet began to stay as contemporary art forms, depending on how hard you squinted, me and Wen would sit amidst them, saying very little but with the shared activity of looking at whatever Winter was up to in the room. Which, of course, was identifying gaps and stuffing himself in them.
Wen, a germophobe, who likes every aspect of her life in complete order, would watch in silence as Winter would create another pee spot next to her. Wen, the germophobe, would say nothing. As one loner to another, she accepted, in not so many words or any words, the reason why Winter was there in the first place. Her being there with us a was a strong nod in my direction saying, ‘If this is what will rescue you, I will support it.’
The Barron’s dog bible on golden retrievers that I had picked up in Boston instead of attending a job interview had me brace myself for what was to come after pee spots: poop on the carpet, furniture chewing, destroyed shoes, destroyed cables, lots of biting—unruly, unhinged, drunk puppy behaviour—and I was very ready for the damage. My roommate, on the other hand, was unaware, let alone prepared.
But it never happened.
Shoes stayed intact and the furniture unbothered. Cables right where I left them. Not a bark or a whimper. Nor a bite or a scratch. And while I waited patiently, anticipatingly almost, for Winter’s standard puppy phase, he seemed to have missed the memo.
***
Get a copy of Thinking of Winter from Amazon or wherever books are sold.
What does a champion do when applause turns into scrutiny? This excerpt from The Unbecoming traces the moment when outer mastery gives way to inner disquiet.
Know more
***
Siddharth Kapoor, once hailed as a legend in the world of cricket for his impeccable batting record, now found his fame fading fast. His batting average stood at an impressive 60 per cent, having scored an astonishing 10,000 One-Day International runs in a mere 203 innings—the fastest in the history of cricket.
Yet, the last two series witnessed the decline of this cricketing legend, who over his distinguished decadelong international career had exultantly scored thirtyfive centuries. His unease in facing a delivery that moved away from him was laid bare for his opponents to exploit. It had been a major worry for both his team and his coach.
To surmount this challenge, he devoted a substantial amount of time practising and yet, more than his skill, it was the tumultuous state of his mind that encumbered him. Despite his reluctance to concede this handicap, deep within, he was aware of this truth.
Still, he was grappling with the fact that for a player of his calibre, something elementary could become an obstacle, especially when it used to be his strength. In the last five innings, he repeatedly got out on short-of-a-length balls swinging away from him, deliveries he was once brilliant at playing. Convinced that it had always been his forte, Siddharth couldn’t resist the urge to go after those short-pitched deliveries. It was agonizing for him to let go.
An eerie silence enveloped the room as the air felt oppressively heavy. The only sound that filled the entire room came from the television. Siddharth’s whole attention was fixed on the hosts’ words, while he aimlessly fiddled with an empty glass in his hand.
The media was making the matters worse for him ‘Siddharth Kapoor’s poor form a worry as India look to restore parity in the World Cup’. ‘Time for team India to look for a new opening batsman’, the television anchor mercilessly pounded Siddharth for his lacklustre performance, detailing his three consecutive dismissals in the World Cup.
This further stressed the atmosphere of the hotel room, where Shraddha and Siddharth were having dinner. ‘Shall I switch off the television?’ Shraddha asked. ‘No, let it be,’ Siddharth replied resignedly. ‘No matter how much you contribute to your country and the sport, one bad phase obliterates it all; they make you look like a cipher,’ murmured a chagrined Siddharth, his eyes tearing up, voice heavy.
‘You are a star, Siddharth, I know it, and your loyal fans know it too. It’s just a matter of time before you bounce back. You have no idea how much you are loved by this nation. People understand that the media spice up the story for their TRPs. You shouldn’t let this get to you,’ Shraddha comforted Siddharth.
‘It’s not fair, Shraddha,’ Siddharth protested, frustration etched in his voice. ‘The media is painting me as if I’m already history. They have no idea who I am or what I’m capable of. No one of my calibre should be treated this way. To tell you the truth, these remarks are taken quite seriously, and have often influenced selectors’ opinions.
I am eagerly waiting to get back in form. It would be a befitting reply to my critics. Until recently, they considered me the best batsman in the history of this sport, and now, in the blink of an eye, I am not good enough! Such theatrics, right, Shraddha?’ Siddharth awaited validation from her.
Shraddha looked into his eyes. She could see that he was blinded by his ego, and that his entire focus was on proving himself to the world instead of bettering his game. His low self-esteem was palpable. She could sense that his confidence was shaken. Although she wanted to make him see his folly, she considered it best not to confront him, as he seemed emotionally fragile.
She reckoned that someone with a nuanced understanding of the game could counsel him better. ‘Yes, Siddharth, you are right. Please don’t take this criticism seriously,’ Shraddha concurred reassuringly. ‘You’ve silenced your critics on numerous occasions,’ Shraddha said embracing him from behind.
These emotions were not atypical of Siddharth who, apart from his batting genius, had a controversial cricketing career marked by premarital affairs, verbal spats with colleagues, journalists, anchors and senior players and a fallout with his childhood coach had occasioned a lot of negative media attention. In fact, it was his colourful personality that made him a darling of the media.
Siddharth soon realized that merely hours of practice were not enough; he needed something else.
***
Get your copy from Amazon or wherever books are sold.
In many Indian households, rituals are not declarations of belief so much as acts of continuity. In this excerpt from Tell My Mother I Like Boys, Suvir Saran reflects on how childhood rituals, memory, and faith shape an enduring understanding of grief and belonging.
Know more
***
One of the earliest memories I have, as vivid as the sunlight piercing through the crack of a drawn curtain, is of a biscuit—a simple, sweet thing that was handed to me every morning by my grandfather, Bhagat Saran Bhatnagar. It was an unspoken ritual, a silent conversation. Before accepting the biscuit, I would always touch his feet—a small act of reverence. My tiny fingers would brush against his skin, and he would respond with a smile that was both a blessing and an embrace. The biscuit would crumble in my hands, its sweetness dissolving on my tongue, a fleeting joy that lingered far longer in my memory. That biscuit was more than a treat; it was a bridge—a bond that tied us together, a rhythm that whispered, I see you, I cherish you, you belong.
That ritual, so steady and so sure, came to an abrupt halt on a day that was to cast a long shadow over my childhood. My grandfather passed away in Agra, at the shrine of his guru. He died fulfilling what he believed to be his spiritual destiny. I was five at the time—too young to comprehend the finality of his departure—yet I understood, in the way children often do, that something monumental had shifted.
When we returned to our home in South Extension, Part 2, New Delhi, the house, usually bright with life, felt suspended in a kind of breathless quiet. My grandmother, Kamla Bhatnagar—Dadi—spent long hours in her prayer room, her hands trembling as she made her offerings. This room, her sanctuary, was filled with idols of all faiths: Krishna, Saraswati, Christ and Guru Nanak. Every morning, she would wake them with hymns, bathe them with water, adorn them with sandalwood paste and offer food at their feet. These offerings, prasad, were placed in my hands with a gentle instruction: ‘Feed the birds outside. They carry our love to the heavens.’
At first, I didn’t understand what she meant. But as I scattered the grains of rice and the pieces of bread on the ground and watched the sparrows, crows and pigeons swoop down and peck at the food, pausing only to look up, their wings beating as they soared higher and higher, something stirred in me. I imagined them carrying not just food but messages, invisible letters written in prayer, from us to those we had lost. My grandmother told me that our loved ones who had departed were always watching us, blessing us from above. The birds, she said, were the carriers of our love, our gratitude, our remembrances. ‘They take what we offer with humility, without ego, and return it to the heavens,’ she would say.
It was a rich metaphor, one that stayed with me for a long time. The act of feeding birds was not just about them. It was a way of understanding the cyclical nature of life, the seamless transition between the ephemeral and the eternal. It was about recognizing that life does not end with death; it transforms, continues, finds new forms. As I watched the birds lift into the sky, their wings glinting in the sunlight, I felt a strange kind of peace.
Years later, this memory would return to me in Bombay, when I lost a close friend to a car accident. She was young, full of life, her laughter still echoing in my ears when the news reached me. The world around me seemed to collapse in grief, but I couldn’t mourn her passing the way others did. I saw her not as gone but as living beyond that moment of impact. I imagined her soaring, like those birds I had fed as a child, lifted by the invisible threads of love and memory. Her passing did not feel like an end; it felt like the opening of a door.
In New York, I lost many more friends—friends who had shared their dreams with me, whose lives were cut short by cruel circumstances. Each loss could have broken me, but instead, they gave me strength. I became, as my mother had once been, a steady presence for others. I stepped into the spaces where grief lived, organizing, connecting, holding others while they broke. I had learnt, through those rituals of my childhood, to see death not as a void but as a continuation. Those who had departed were not gone; they lived on in the memories they left behind, in the movements they had begun, in the love they had shared.
***
Get your copy from Amazon or wherever books are sold!
What happens when you spend years making decisions without knowing what truly drives you? In this excerpt fromPursuit of Purpose, Jordan Tarver examines the emotional cost of living without purpose and introduces a framework for rediscovering meaning, direction, and fulfilment.
Know more
***
Trusting the direction of your life when you have no defined purpose is like trusting a compass when there is no magnetic field. In both instances, the results will waver. You may think you’re going in the right direction and making the right decisions only to find out years later that the path you’ve been walking took you away from the true essence of your being. Therefore, it’s in your best interests to dive deeply into your inner world and discover your purpose so you can live the life you desire. Otherwise, expect to continue suffering from the blocks and frustrations that hold you back.
You may feel unworthy, frustrated, unhappy, lost, and uninspired about life, all of which make you feel stuck. You have an inner knowing that you want to do something different, find a new path, or break old limiting patterns, but no matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to find a way around the mental wall that traps you. Some days you may feel like the only solution is to give in to tears of frustration. I’ve been right where you are—living in a realm of complex confusion—so please know I understand. This is why I am devoted to helping you embark on a path in a new direction.
Unfortunately, feeling stuck is likely not the only struggle you’re experiencing on your journey. You may also lack clarity and a sense of direction. Without either of these, you may feel like you don’t know what you want or who you are as a person. This causes life to happen to you, not for you.
The tough part about not knowing what to do with your life or who you are as a person is the absence of fulfilment—feeling happiness and satisfaction. It’s not that you’re unaware that life isn’t making you feel fulfilled, it’s that you don’t know what makes you feel fulfilled. The actions you choose to take aren’t truly aligned with your authentic self nor do they align with the person you want to become.
Not only do each of these feelings play individual roles in your life, but they also feed into how meaningful your life feels, or doesn’t feel. If your life lacks meaning, it’s common to feel uninspired to get out of bed in the morning, be optimistic about your future, or experience joy. The goal is to turn the lack of meaning in your life into a never-ending reservoir full of meaning. When you live a meaningful life, you’re supported by a purpose that ignites clarity and direction, which leads toward the light at the end of the tunnel – your fulfilment.
While you may be experiencing a somewhat lackluster life right now, those feelings don’t have to define your entire existence. It’s always in your power to make small incremental changes that shift the direction of your life. You may be reading this book because you’ve had enough of your wavering life path that leaves you feeling empty, and you’re ready to write your next chapter— one defined by purpose, meaning, and a life you will genuinely cherish.
Your life purpose is not what most people think it is. It is not your job title or occupation. Your purpose is your personal mission statement. It is your “why”— the reason you do something. Your life’s purpose becomes a grounded reminder of why you were born and how to serve those around you, giving you crystal clear direction.
Your purpose is not stagnant, it is ever-evolving. It’s typically relevant to the current stage of your life. For instance, your purpose at ages 21, 35, 55, and 75 may be different because your purpose changes as you grow as an individual. Understanding this now will help you become more open to change in your purpose as it presents itself. Resisting change and instead marrying yourself to one purpose for your entire life holds you back from reaching your full potential.
In the simplest form, the purpose of life is to experience life while serving others and representing your core values—what you believe is most important to you—which you will read about in phase two of this book. Living with purpose also comes from living in alignment with your life purpose statement and using it to guide your decisions and actions. You will learn about your life purpose statement in phase four and then develop it in the workbook.
We should clear something up: Although a large part of our society uses purpose and passion interchangeably, they are not interchangeable. While your purpose is the reason you do something, your passions are the activities and hobbies that make you feel fulfilled.
Think of it this way, your passions are the vehicle that gets you from point A to point B, and your purpose is the gas that motivates you to keep moving forward. For example, my purpose is not writing; writing is one of my passions. My purpose is to heal people through my creativity. This is the reason behind why I write—the gas that moves my vehicle (writing) forward.
***
Get your copy from Amazon or wherever books are sold.
India’s gig economy is often celebrated for creating jobs – but what happens when the apps stop paying, the incentives disappear, and the workers start protesting? In this excerpt from OTP Please, Vandana Vasudevan captures the voice of an Uber driver whose rise and fall mirrors the fate of gig workers across India.
Know more
***
The amaltas trees in B.K. Dutt Colony, New Delhi, are spilling over with boughs of golden flowers in the harsh June sun. This colony is like an impostor between Lodhi Colony and Jor Bagh, posh areas home to high-ranking bureaucrats and retired corporate honchos. This is a modest enclave where the recently formed government of independent India had given Partition refugees subsidized houses. It has the standard elements of old-style Delhi colonies—a park, a Mother Dairy booth and low-rise residential buildings. A street-side temple happily encroaches on the road.
I have come to meet Kamaljeet Gill, national secretary of the Indian Federation of App-based Transport Workers (IFAT) and president of the Sarvodaya Drivers Association of Delhi (SDAD).
Kamaljeet’s house is a 1BHK (one bedroom-hall- kitchen) home on the third and last floor of a building, which, if it were in Mumbai, would be called a chawl. He is an imposing, swarthy man with a thin moustache and a slicked-back ponytail. We sit in a living space illuminated by a dull tube light. Under the gaze of departed family elders whose photos stare down at us, Kamaljeet tells me how he acquired the reputation of a troublemaker who has been banned from working for all leading ride-hailing companies.
He begins by giving me some background. ‘I became a cab driver twenty-three years ago. These foreign companies like Uber started coming in 2013 and found that this country is full of greedy people. I consider Ola a foreign company because its money is from abroad, even if the founder is Indian. So, knowing our greed, they gave all the drivers an Apple iPhone for every car that enrolled and about Rs 5000 as a joining bonus. Some fleet owners enrolled ten cars and got ten Apple iPhones plus cash. Business started rolling in. They used to pay us Rs 2 a minute for waiting, Rs 100 as base fare and Rs 15/km. The commission was also low. Clients and drivers were happy with this nice, new service. People from the company used to call us the previous night and ask sweetly, “Will you be working tomorrow?” Uber gave us the phones, so they said we should log in to the app for ten hours, and whether we get orders or not, we’ll pay Rs 1800 a day. Uber just bought us all, and Ola followed the same pattern.’
In December 2014, two years after the Nirbhaya incident,1 a twenty-seven-year-old woman was raped by an Uber driver leading to the cab aggregator’s ban in the national capital.2 During the ban, Uber had kept giving money to all the drivers enlisted previously.
‘How much?’ I ask, expecting it to be a subsistence amount for drivers to tide over the loss in income.
‘What can I say,’ replies Kamaljeet, a little bashfully. ‘I had two cars, so I used to get Rs 25,000 in my bank account weekly. Drivers were making a cool one lakh in 2014, just sitting at home. And we would also make more money driving for Ola, which was paying handsomely.’
When Uber returned to Delhi roads in January 2015, it lowered the rates from Rs 10/km to Rs 6/km. Payment per trip went from Rs 400 per trip to Rs 375 three weeks later, then finally to Rs 350 per trip by the start of 2015. Then, they stopped paying per trip, counting only for the number of kilometres covered. In September 2015, about fifty drivers vandalized Uber’s Gurgaon office. Kamlajeet who was at the vanguard of the disruption says, ‘An FIR was filed and I was locked up with some others for a day in Sector 29 Gurgaon police station.’
Media reports between 2014 and 2017 about drivers protests confirm that payments to drivers fell dramatically in those years as the ride-hailing companies found their feet in the market and felt assured that they would have a steady supply of drivers. One report in the Guardian has a driver in Delhi complaining that Uber used to pay Rs 2000 as a per-day incentive if they completed a dozen trips, but this was cut back to just once a week for doing forty to fifty rides and they hiked their commission from 20 per cent to 25 per cent by end December 2016.
February 2017 was Kamaljeet’s moment. Joined by another union, he led 300 drivers in a protest in Jantar Mantar demanding that the Rs 6/km rate be increased because metered taxis charged Rs 16/km and autorickshaws charged Rs 8/km. ‘How can we survive on Rs 6/km after paying the mandatory 20 per cent cut to the company and 5 per cent as tax?’ he said to the press, which covered the protest because it inconvenienced city dwellers. Kamaljeet went on a day’s hunger strike at the venue.
‘I became a famous man after that protest! The Delhi High Court has passed a restraining order against me saying I can’t go anywhere close to the offices of these cab companies. You’re sitting next to a celebrity!’ he laughs. Indeed, in April 2017, the Delhi High Court issued a perpetual injunction against union leaders from stopping other drivers to work with Uber, staging dharnas (protests) and causing violence outside Ola and Uber offices.
***
Get your copy from Amazon or wherever books are sold!
In The Manifestation Blueprint, Himeesh Madan doesn’t speak from theory – he writes from lived experience. In this excerpt, he opens up about the moment everything began to change.
Know more
***
On 25 December 2018, I was reflecting on the previous year. I had been working hard for the last few years but had not been able to create much financial progress in my life. During this introspection, I unearthed some magical elements that had influenced my life positively but had remained under-utilized. Now, as the new year approached, I started writing down all my aspirations
with renewed hope and determination. They weren’t just ‘New Year’s Goals’—I named them my ‘New Life Goals’!
As 1 January 2019 dawned, I made a WhatsApp group with myself. I downloaded a few images from the Internet and even edited some of them to suit my purpose. These were the images of objects and places that seemed out of my reach at that time, but I dared to make them my goals.
This part of my life is personal and could lead to judgment, but in this book, I want to be 100 per cent transparent with you as I believe that my journey, filled with a touch of madness and a step-by-step approach, can inspire and help you lead the life you desire.
One of my aspirations was to buy two Apple watches—one for me, one for my wife—and a MacBook for my work. So, I downloaded an image of a couple wearing Apple watches and sent it to my WhatsApp group along with the photo of a MacBook.
Another dream involved owning a Mercedes—not for external validation, but for deeply personal reasons related to a childhood experience. So, I even photoshopped a picture of a Mercedes car alongside us.
I also envisioned the type of house where my family would live and found an image on the Internet that matched my vision. Anyone can call this act as ‘foolish’. It won’t be wrong in saying, ‘If you don’t have money to buy an Apple watch, you don’t dream to own a luxury car or a house.’
And yes, as a coach and trainer, I aspired to deliver TED talks too.
My childhood was marked by financial hardships, and I never believed I’d have the opportunity to travel outside of India. However, my wife, Gunjan, came from a family that travelled to some parts of the country annually. I photoshopped an image to place me and my wife in front of Sydney’s Opera House.
As I was never able to go to college because of financial constraints, my wife and I wanted to contribute to the education of others. Hence, we resolved to fund the education of at least 100 students. My other goals included freedom to work from anywhere, a nice office for my team, a fit body, and many more.
Now, let me share the results.
I was able to achieve 100 per cent of my goals using the fundamentals I am going to discuss in this book.
Even the goals which were 100x of my financial worth, even the goals which sounded impossible to many—I was able to achieve them all.
2019: We got Apple watches and my MacBook.
2020: We moved to a nice office.
2021: We moved to a beautiful house and bought a Mercedes.
2022: I delivered my first TED talk and worked from Goa for a fortnight.
2023: We funded the education of 100 students, took a ‘one-way’ flight to Australia, visited the Oprah House, clicked the exact same picture as I had photoshopped and worked from Australia for a month. In 2024, we worked from the US for a month, and then in 2025, visited four new countries.
***
Get your copy from Amazon or wherever books are sold!
Read an exclusive excerpt from Why The Constitution Matters.
Feminist Lawyering and Feminist Judging
Q1: What, if anything, does feminism add to the task of judging?
What feminism adds to the task of judging is an acknowledgement of the value of the female experience, which facilitates inquiry and reflection. It is an intervention into the legal space that seeks to challenge the ongoing exclusion of women from legal subjectivity, ‘whether as the authors of legal decisions and doctrine, or as the subjects upon whose knowledge, experience, activities and concerns law is founded’.
It has been argued by feminist scholars that ‘law does not simply operate on pre-existing gendered realities, but contributes to the construction of those realities, often in a constraining or damaging way’. A feminist perspective on the laws essentially aims to disrupt this process of gender construction and to introduce different accounts of gender that might be less limiting for women.
Feminist judgments provide additional ‘social framework’ material that places the particular facts of the case and/or the legal issues involved in a broader context. In The Gender of Judgments, Reg Graycar has questioned the sources of judges’ knowledge of the world and suggested that such knowledge is ‘(masculine) gendered’.
Feminist judgments are an endeavour to correct this imbalance. It represents an attempt to tackle the power and authority of the law and its impact on the lives of women, not from the distance of academic critique but on its own ground through an alternative judgment method.
One of the most important contributions of feminist thought to the process of judging is the form of addition of fresh perspectives. The Importance of Diversity: Erika Rackley, a legal scholar, whose research focuses on judicial diversity, explains that diversity ‘acts as a catalyst for disruption; impacting upon the legal monotony, destabilising its taken-for-granted assumptions and uncovering alternative ways of seeing, understanding, and judging’. In this way, sex is only one point of difference, as women judicial officers often bring a diverse set of backgrounds, experiences and perspectives to the role as compared to their ‘benchmark’ male counterparts. In addition to the laws, judicial decisions are inevitably influenced by the judges’ personal values and perspectives. A rich body of feminist scholarship, including feminist theories and methods, has helped shape the feminist approach to judging.
Feminist literature does not dictate specific results but rather provides valuable procedural suggestions on how feminist judging can take place in practice. Though the substantive decision reached depends largely on the meaning of the term ‘feminism’ to the particular judge, there are various methods adopted by judges to promote the substantive goal of feminism—the achievement of equality in society. These include:
a) Challenging the gender bias in legal doctrine, which includes taking efforts to identify and overcome gender bias in legal principles. It also involves recognizing that the law is an inherently gendered framework. Correcting this imbalance involves questioning the current legal construction of the term ‘woman’, and intervening to challenge and confront sexism, racism and gender bias.
b) Asking the woman question(s), which involves identifying the gender implications of rules which appear to be neutral. Asking this question also leads to discussion about other forms of exclusion (based on religion, race, etc.) that may be operating in a particular case. (Such intersectionality in India, for example, would mean a Dalit woman or a Muslim woman.)
c) Contextualization, which involves an exercise in feminist practical reasoning, which entails a reasoning from context that focuses on a woman’s lived experience. This aids a judge in making an individualized rather than an abstract decision.
***
Get your copy of Why The Constitution Matters on Amazon or wherever books are sold.
Read an exclusive excerpt from Talking to the Baby in the Womb.
Technique and Concept of Talking to the Baby in the Womb
The more people have studied different methods of bringing up children, the more they have come to the conclusion that what good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like doing to their babies is the best after all.
—Dr Benjamin Spok
Sahana is Dr Andal’s friend’s daughter. She meets the doctor to have her doubts about pregnancy cleared. The narration is divided into four parts. Every part begins and ends with their conversation.
The first part deals with the emotional aspect: the concept and technique of Talking to the Baby in the Womb; hope, courage and confidence; how Talking to the baby in the womb helps the expectant mother face delivery confidently; and how to come out successfully with a healthy baby, even in the case of those who had a history of miscarriages; and the role of the husband in supporting his wife during pregnancy.
The second part deals with: mental aspects; intelligence and behavioural aspects of the baby; and the influence of music on the baby during pregnancy. The third part deals with: physical aspects including physical dynamism and sporting aspects of the baby; vomiting in pregnancy; and meditation and yoga. The fourth part deals with: sensory aspects; taste; and Healthy eating habits.
Doctor: Hello, Sahana dear, it’s been long since we met. Your Mom said that I should spend some time with you; just give you a pep talk. You know, your mother and I have been friends since childhood. So I am glad you came for lunch. And congratulations to you, wonderful Mom!
Sahana: Thank you, aunty. I have lots of doubts— some silly ones, some serious—but ever since my pregnancy was confirmed, I have been confused. I suddenly feel so relaxed after meeting you. I’m sure all my anxiety will melt away now.
Doctor: My dear! Don’t worry. For a prepared mother, pregnancy is a smooth journey and delivery is easy. Though pregnancy is a much-awaited event in one’s life, the charm and joy of pregnancy is slowly getting clouded by anxiety and insecurity. The happiness can be restored by using a powerful technique. I’ll narrate to you the story of a pregnant mother who was my guru in initiating this effective technique.
Sahana: Okay, aunty!
Doctor: Let’s see Seema’s story. It will help you understand better.
‘You are already awake, Tara? Good morning! I am happy that you are an early riser.’
‘See how beautiful the Sunrise is! The sky wears the most beautiful shadesof crimson, pink, yellow and blue! Mother Nature is my favourite artist ever!’ ‘Look at those beautiful birds chirping, Tara.’
‘Every form of life is so active as if it is their natural instinct.’ ‘Let’s enjoy our cup of milk. You must be hungry.’
‘Lukewarm milk is my way. Hey! Let’s add nuts and dry fruits to it and make it tastier and nutritious.’ ‘I didn’t know that you like it this much, Tara! Hereafter, we will have milk in more delicious ways’
After some time
‘Now it’s time for some meditation and relaxation. Let’s chant. AUM . . . AUM . . .
’ ‘After lunch we’ll have a nap and go to the hospital in the evening. We have our appointment with the doctor.’
Evening
‘Come, let’s go, Tara. Here everyone speaks Telugu— we will learn it soon!
Chalo.
On the street
‘Madam, going out?’
‘Yes, bhaiya’
‘Ah, it’s good that he has come!’
‘I told you he is gentle in the way he drives his auto. I feel safe in it.’
‘Madam, where shall we go now?’
‘Bhaiya, we must go to hospital!’
The auto driver in his mind thinks to himself,
Madam is always on the phone . . . speaking to a friend . . . but I don’t see any mobile phone in her hand . . . maybe this is what they call some tooth . . .
Aah! It’s Bluetooth!
‘We have arrived at the hospital, madam. Shall I wait?’
‘No, bhaiya! It will take time . . . mere paas apka mobile number hai [I have your mobile number].
I will call you, then you come and pick us up.’
‘Okay, madam’
‘Here is the auto fare, bhaiya. Thank you for the safe ride.’
‘Thank you, madam!
Bhaiya boltihain mujhe [You call me brother], I have the responsibility of a brother, right? You call my number, madam. I will come and take you back home.’
‘Thank you, bhaiya! That’s very nice of you!’
‘Chalo Tara, let us go and meet our doctor now!’
‘Tara you are jumping at the very mention of the doctor’s name! You feel so happy about meeting her every time. We must let her know how much happiness we get by meeting her.’
‘Good evening, Doctor!’.
‘Seema Sharma! Good evening, dear! It is always a pleasure to see your cheerful face.’
After checking Seema, the doctor says, ‘Seema, everything is great with you. Every report shows good improvement and normalcy.’
‘Thank you very much, Doctor! All this has been possible only with your guidance!’
‘My pleasure, Seema. I’ve been wanting to ask you something peculiar I find about you.’
‘Please go ahead, Doctor, you are a mother figure to me. You can ask me anything!’
‘Seema, you are well into your sixth month of pregnancy. This is your first pregnancy. Normally, during Pregnancy, women have issues such as vomiting and back pain. They feel insecure and get someone to accompany them to the doctor’s clinic. But your attitude has pleasantly surprised me! I know your husband is a very busy executive, unable to be at your side always. Travelling alone in a town that speaks a different tongue is tough. Normally, all these stresses show up as physical symptoms. You don’t have any complaints. How can you always be smiling and pleasant? How do you manage it all? Do you mind sharing with me the secret of your positivity and confidence, dear?’
‘Oh, Doctor, I am happy because I am never alone! My baby is always with me! We do almost everything together. We cook, we shop and we are together always! We even meditate together. My baby falls asleep when I sing a lullaby. And I must tell you this, although my husband doesn’t spend much time with me, my baby gets along with my husband as well! They have their own time together, you know?’
‘Oh! I didn’t know that! Where’s your baby now?’
‘Right here, Doctor. In my tummy! I call the baby “Tara” to feel more connected.’
‘Oh! That’s amazing!’
‘Doctor, whenever I talk silently or loudly, my baby responds with movements. We talk and we understand each other perfectly well! I enjoy my baby’s company thoroughly. My baby keeps me happy and confident! My baby is my best friend and my caretaker these days! We take care of each other! Sometimes I talk to my baby loudly, unmindful of others’ presence; many times others think I’m talking to some friend over the phone.’
‘Eureka! The movement! So the movement is the language of the unborn baby. This is the master key of keeping the expecting mother happy and confident. I am so grateful to you, Seema!’
‘Doctor, we are grateful to you! My baby loves visiting you along with me. It feels so happy and excited every time I mention your name. Today, I wanted to share this information with you, and you asked me just when I was about to tell you this myself.’
My mission has always been to make pregnancy an amazing experience for every woman. I want every pregnancy to result in successful delivery of a good child (healthy, happy, intelligent with all good qualities = good child, for me). As I was struggling to find an effective method to make pregnant mothers happy and confident, I could see that Talking to the Baby in the Womb was the reason for Seema’s happiness and confidence. Thus, the inspirational real-life experience of Seema laid the foundation of Talking to the Baby in the Womb. Mother talking to her baby in the womb is a natural and an age-old practice. I don’t think there’s any mother who has not spoken a word to her baby during her pregnancy. But mothers think it’s only a monologue, as the baby cannot talk back. They don’t expect any reply from the baby. They are totally unaware of baby’s feelings. When they are able to see the baby even before it is born, express their love, share their feelings and understand that their baby is there for them, its presence and companionship makes them feel secure. Confidence and happiness will illuminate the way of expecting mothers—think, bond, relate, live, learn and grow along with the baby they carry.
How I Started Practising Talking to the baby in the Womb
It was the case study of Seema that inspired me to follow the ‘Talking to the Baby in the Womb’ technique to instil confidence and happiness in expecting mothers. When I explained the benefit of bonding with the baby during pregnancy and asked the mothers to talk to their babies, they used to give a quizzical look, smile and keep quiet; but I kept on telling them, because I’d seen Seema’s experience. A year went by after I started recommending Talking to the Baby in the Womb; but the results were not encouraging. When I was about to lose hope, feedback from Sirisha emerged to strengthen my conviction. Sirisha talked to her unborn child and the baby responded, giving her a secure feeling and confidence during pregnancy. After birth, the baby responded to her words through his eyes. He was not a ‘cry baby’, and the kid grew up to be a happy boy, exactly as Sirisha wanted him to be.
***
Get your copy of Talking to the Baby in the Womb on Amazon or wherever books are sold.
Read an exclusive excerpt from The Art of Conversation: “The Power of the Question”
INTRODUCTION TO QUESTIONING
Asking questions is an essential skill in any conversation. It helps gather information, gain clarity and show interest in the other person. However, asking the right questions requires practice and understanding of different types of questions.
This section will cover the basics of questioning and how it can enhance your communication skills. We will also explore the power of open-ended and closed-ended questions and when to use them effectively.
The Art of Conversation || Khurshed Dordi
In the complex dance of human interaction, a powerful tool exists that can unlock doors, forge connections and illuminate the path to understanding: the art of questioning. As Voltaire eloquently said, ‘Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.’ Questions are not mere inquiries; they are catalysts for thought, sparks that ignite curiosity and pathways to deeper knowledge.
Some of human communication is non-verbal, a silent symphony of expressions, gestures and subtle cues. Yet, within the spoken word lies an extraordinary power to shape perception, influence outcomes and build rapport. And at the heart of this power lies the question.
Questions are not simply tools for gathering information; they are instruments of connection. When we ask a question, we extend an invitation—to share, engage and collaborate. We signal our interest, curiosity and willingness to learn. And in that exchange, we open a window into the minds and hearts of others.
But not all questions are created equal. Some questions are closed, seeking a simple yes or no answer. Others are open-ended, inviting exploration and elaboration. And still others are leading, subtly guiding the conversation towards a desired outcome. The most effective questions are those that are carefully crafted, thoughtfully delivered and genuinely curious. They are questions that challenge assumptions, spark new ideas and encourage deeper reflection.
In the realm of professional success, the art of questioning is an indispensable skill. Whether you’re interviewing for a job, negotiating a deal or leading a team, the ability to ask the right questions can make all the difference. It can help you uncover hidden opportunities, build trust and rapport and create a culture of collaboration and innovation.
Take the example of a job interview. A well-prepared candidate will not only answer the interviewer’s questions thoughtfully but will also ask insightful questions of their own. This demonstrates initiative, curiosity and a genuine interest in the role and company. It can also help the candidate assess whether the job is a good fit for their skills and aspirations.
In the world of sales, questions are the lifeblood of the relationship between the salesperson and the customer. By asking the right questions, a salesperson can uncover the customer’s needs, pain points and motivations. This information is essential for tailoring the sales pitch and closing the deal.
However, the power of questioning extends far beyond the realms of interviews and sales. In any professional setting, the ability to ask the right questions can help you build relationships, influence outcomes and achieve your goals. It can help you gain a deeper understanding of your colleagues, customers and your industry. It can help you identify problems, develop solutions and drive innovation.
Questions are not just for the workplace, of course. They are essential tools for personal growth and development. When we ask ourselves questions, we challenge our assumptions, expand our perspectives and deepen our understanding of ourselves and the world around us.
But perhaps the most important questions we can ask are those that challenge us to think critically, question the status quo and envision a better future. These are the questions that drive innovation, inspire creativity and lead to positive change.
In the words of Albert Einstein, ‘The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.’ When we embrace the power of questioning, we open ourselves up to a world of possibilities. We expand our knowledge, deepen our understanding and forge stronger connections with others. And, in so doing, we unlock the full potential of human interaction.
The art of questioning is not simply a skill to be mastered; it is a way of life. It is a commitment to curiosity, a thirst for knowledge and a willingness to engage with the world around us. When we embrace the power of questioning, we embark on a journey of lifelong learning and discovery. And, in that journey, we find not only answers but also the inspiration to ask even more questions.
So, the next time you find yourself in a conversation, whether it’s with a colleague, a customer or a loved one, remember the power of the question. Ask with curiosity, listen with intention and be open to the unexpected. For in the art of questioning lies the key to unlocking the full potential of human connection and achieving professional success.
The Importance of Questions ‘Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.’ —Voltaire
Renowned French philosopher Voltaire, with this simple yet profound statement, encapsulates the essence of questions—the power they hold in shaping thoughts, driving discovery and fostering understanding. In the grand scheme of communication, questions often take a backseat to answers.
We are conditioned to believe that answers signify knowledge, authority and perhaps even power. However, a paradigm shift is underway. The spotlight is now on the art of asking questions, the skill that fuels intellectual curiosity, ignites creativity and builds meaningful connections.
The Question as a Catalyst for Change
In an era overflowing with information, the ability to ask the right questions is a potent tool. Questions act as catalysts, propelling us beyond the surface level of knowledge to uncover deeper insights. They challenge assumptions, spark debate and invite a plurality of perspectives. In the realms of science, philosophy, business and personal development, questions are not merely tools for gathering information; they are instruments of transformation.
Consider the groundbreaking discoveries that have shaped our world—from Albert Einstein’s theory of relativity to the development of the Internet. Each of these monumental achievements was born out of a simple question, a spark of curiosity that ignited a quest for knowledge. In a similar vein, businesses that foster a culture of inquiry are more likely to innovate and adapt to a rapidly changing landscape. By encouraging employees to question the status quo, companies create an environment where ideas flourish and solutions emerge.
The Question as a Bridge to Understanding
Questions are the threads that weave connections between individuals. They invite dialogue, foster empathy and build trust. When we ask questions, we demonstrate a genuine interest in others, their experiences and their perspectives. This act of curiosity creates a space for shared understanding and mutual respect.
Questions have the power to bridge the gaps between us. By seeking to understand rather than to judge, we open the door to dialogue and collaboration. Questions invite us to step outside our echo chambers and engage with those who hold different beliefs and values. In this way, questions become a force for unity and reconciliation.
***
Get your copy of The Art of Conversation on Amazon or wherever books are sold.
Read an exclusive excerpt from The Money Ball: “Before You Leap—Are You Truly Ready to Be an Entrepreneur?”
The Money Ball || Sarthak Ahuja
Are You Ready to Be an Entrepreneur—Before You Get Started
‘Entrepreneurship is living a few years of your life like most people won’t, so you can spend the rest of your life like most people can’t,’ goes a famous quote.
While all of us aspire towards the life that the latter half of the quote hints at, the journey needs to begin by assessing if we are indeed ready for the first half. That is exactly where we need to begin—by looking at some of the prerequisites to take this tough yet life-changing road.
The Entrepreneurial Mindset
We have all heard about how entrepreneurship offers solutions to a wide range of challenges besides sparking innovation and fuelling economies. To do this, there needs to be an important catalyst in place—an entrepreneurial mindset. That resilient, resourceful and solutions-oriented approach that is unshaken even in the most adverse circumstances. While all of this sounds extremely heroic, even magical, it needs deep reflection for you to ascertain if you indeed have the mindset required to succeed. My suggestion would be to get down to the brass tacks and think of the following four aspects in particular to ascertain your entrepreneurial readiness quotient.
1. Deferred Gratification
You may have heard of the famous marshmallow experiment conducted at Stanford University in the 1960s that explored the benefits of delayed gratification. Essentially, children were seated in a room with a single marshmallow on a plate and were told they could eat it now, or wait fifteen minutes, which would allow them to receive two marshmallows in place of one. The study found that the children who opted to wait tended to have better life outcomes, including but not limited to higher SAT scores, lower BMI, fewer instances of substance abuse and more. The Marshmallow Test provides powerful lessons that are directly applicable to entrepreneurship. After all, it could take several months or years of hard work before you can start seeing profitability in your business and achieve healthy cash flows. All this while, however, you have to be able to make decisions that set your business up to win in the long-term. In the context of entrepreneurship then, embracing delayed gratification means investing time, effort and resources into building a solid foundation for the business, rather than seeking quick profits. The question to ask yourself is: Are you willing to grind day after day, laying the groundwork for the future. Can you dedicate yourself to business fundamentals even as you delay immediate gratification?
If your answer to the above questions is a well-thoughtout yes, odds are that you will be able to create value, foster innovation and achieve lasting success in your venture.
2. Risk
In December 2008, Tesla (that produced high-end electric cars) and SpaceX (that built rockets) were on the verge of financial collapse. The year had been tough for the founder, Elon Musk, since both companies were in trouble and cash was down to nothing. Musk needed $40 million to keep Tesla afloat. He pieced together $20 million of his own money and leaned on investors to match the amount. The nail-biting story of a last-minute rescue that prevented Tesla from bankruptcy and preserved the electric car dream at a time when major US car companies had abandoned electric vehicle production is told in a biography by the acclaimed journalist and writer Walter Isaacson. Entrepreneurial folklore is replete with other such examples of entrepreneurs who took massive risks. In fact, if there is one quality that is common to all entrepreneurs—whether they spearhead an early-stage start-up or are leading a company that clocks hundreds of millions of dollars in revenue—it has to be their ability to take game-changing risks. Simply put, risk-taking is the willingness to take chances in the pursuit of gain, even when the outcome is uncertain. Some of the many risks that entrepreneurs face include leaving a steady pay cheque, using personal savings with no guarantee of a return on investment misjudging customer interest in a product or service . . . the list goes on. So much so that risk is said to be what’s left over after you think you’ve thought of everything.
When you talk to people about what it means to be a ‘risk-taker,’ however, most people will begin describing daredevils and gamblers. Yet, that is not what risk-taking in terms of entrepreneurship means. Above anything, successful entrepreneurs need to be calculated risk-takers.
Ask yourself where you score on the ‘calculated risktaking’ scale. Do you have a preference for working with certainty and are you paralysed by fear when it comes to decision-making? Or do you thrive on taking measured risks? That said, taking calculated risks is like building a muscle. It’s not easy and it takes practice, but done well, you can actually start to enjoy it. Importantly, it is this ability to take calculated risks that, in turn, allows the founders to enjoy a huge upside on account of their high ownership stakes, when the start-up begins to grow.
3. No Fixed Salary
‘Dear Customer, Acct XXXX is credited with Rs XXXX on 1 January. Info: Salary’
This is one familiar ping that many of us take delight in on the first of every month. If you are making a transition to entrepreneurship from a corporate role, you particularly need to think this aspect through very carefully, for it is a pleasure that you will have to forgo at least in the early stages. It goes without saying that this comes with several lifestyle and mindset adjustments that you need to be prepared for.
That said, it is also important to state that your ability to negotiate your salary grows as the start-up transitions through various stages. Below are a few benchmarks that are prevalent in the industry and can be used to decide your own salaries at various stages of fundraising, a concept that we will delve into in detail in some of the later chapters:
• Seed: Most founder salaries at the seed stage are just enough to manage their basic personal expenses. Salaries at this stage can range between Rs 1 lakh and Rs 1.5 lakh per month, depending on the city you’re living in and the amount of funding the start-up has raised. As a thumb rule, no more than 10 per cent of the total funding amount goes into the hands of the founders if the funding is less than Rs 2 crore.
• Series A: At this point, you should negotiate with investors to double the salary payout to a monthly in-hand amount, which is at par with the talent the start-up has to hire on closing Series A.
• Series B: It is best to negotiate a secondary sale of some shareholding to incoming investors so as to generate some cash in hand, which can be used for building assets and savings. This is the first opportunity for the founder to cash out on their work and effort.
These are, of course, just indicative estimates. Actual salaries and founder payouts may vary with industry, size of the fundraise and need of the business.
4. Social Concerns
My wife comes from a family of people employed in top corporates. She herself was happily employed with Meta before taking the leap of faith to join me in my entrepreneurial venture. Needless to say, in the early stages she was hesitant to take the road less travelled. Understandably so, for it is not easy to let go of a job with defined responsibilities, fixed salary and defined reporting structures, in order to venture into uncharted terrain.
To add to your predicament, you are also faced with a host of social concerns. Friends and family could be calling you out on your decision to leave a cushy job, terming it untenable. Besides, you could also be witnessing the seemingly perfect lives of your peers on social media, replete with fancy vacations. It is the willingness to forgo social validation and deal with tons of ambiguity that is a big perquisite to the entrepreneurial path.
On the other extreme, if you are headed to the world of entrepreneurship driven by the glitz and glamour of newspaper headlines—of large funding rounds and the making of unicorns—you need to remember that behind every such headline are many more stories of pain and struggle that entrepreneurs need to be mentally prepared for. Think of any entrepreneur you look up to and odds are they have had more than their share of struggles and failure. Before Amazon became the huge success that it is today, Jeff Bezos had an array of failed ideas. Before starting PayPal and investing in companies like Facebook, Peter Thiel’s early hedge fund, Clarium Capital, reportedly lost 90 per cent of its $7 billion assets on the stock market, currencies and oil prices. Closer home, similar stories abound where entrepreneurs who are now seen as being extremely successful had to overcome the failure of several start-ups. Let these examples serve as encouragement to learn from your mistakes and remain steadfast on your path.
Ikigai Framework: Passion, Opportunity, Skill, Willingness to Pay
Having undertaken a brief assessment of your mindset and whether or not it is conducive to the rocky yet hugely fulfilling road to entrepreneurship, it is time now to move to the next important aspect—namely, how do you zero down on an effective idea?
There are several frameworks that help evaluate the feasibility of a business idea that are largely based on whether or not the idea solves a large enough problem, creates an impact and makes you some wealth in the bargain. While we will speak of spotting business opportunities in detail in a later section, I would like to introduce a framework that I find particularly helpful. The POS framework has three important constituents:
• Passion
• Opportunity
• Skill Set
In choosing an idea, you need to carefully evaluate three factors: whether you are passionate about the idea, if there is a market opportunity for it and whether or not you have complementary skills to see the idea to fruition. It stands to reason that if you have the passion for something and there’s a huge market opportunity for it but you do not have complementary skills to execute it, you are likely to fail. On the other hand, if there is an opportunity in the market for which you have the necessary skill set but no passion, you might make some money but with drudgery. After all, how long can you keep working on something you are not passionate about? Eventually, you will be exhausted. Conversely, if you have the passion and the requisite skills but there isn’t a large enough market opportunity, you may enjoy the experience but receive limited returns on your investment and eventually give up. All three: Passion, Opportunity and Skill Set, therefore need to be aligned for the business to work.
***
Get your copy of The Money Ball on Amazon or wherever books are sold.
