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A Soldier’s Sacrifice: A glimpse into Captain Vijyant Thapar’s life

Captain Vijyant Thapar was twenty-two when he was martyred in the Kargil War, having fought bravely in the crucial battles of Tololing and Knoll. A fourth-generation army officer, Vijyant dreamt of serving his country even as a young boy. In this first-ever biography, titled Vijyant at Kargil, we learn about his journey to join the Indian Military Academy and the experiences that shaped him into a fine officer.

Told by his father, Col. V.N. Thapar and Neha Dwivedi, a martyr’s daughter herself, the anecdotes from his family and close friends come alive, and we have a chance to know the exceptional young man that Vijyant was. His inspiring story provides a rare glimpse into the heart of a brave soldier. His legacy stays alive through these fond memories and his service to the country.

Here is an excerpt from the prologue of the book that talks about his last few moments, and the reaction of his friends and family as they received the news of his martyr.


28 June 1999

Finally, the time had come. Men with faces covered with camouflage paint, with the white of their eyeballs visible in the dark, started moving forward silently like ghosts, clutching their AKs tightly. Muscles taut, jaws clenched, they advanced towards the crest. Robin raised his right arm and everyone froze as a shell burst in the sky some distance away, followed by a rattle of fire from the hill about 800 metres ahead. It was still dark but soon the almost full moon would rise and light up the entire area.

He looked at his sturdy G-Shock watch, which read 1945 hours, 28 June. In a few minutes, they would reach their destination. Around fifteen minutes ago, at 1930 hours, heavy artillery fire had started. He did not want to wait a minute longer than required, now that he was so close to the enemy. Suddenly, the machine guns opened up behind him. It was time. They held their breath in anticipation for the signal to move, their eyes fixed on the silhouette of the hill in front, from where flashes of fire were visible. And then it happened. A shell from the enemy guns landed in their midst.

29 June 1999

All of India was in the middle of Operation Vijay. The Indian Army was fighting almost impossible battles on the extremely tough and unforgiving heights of Drass and Kargil. After weeks of bloody struggle, the tables had turned. News of spectacular victories and stories of unbelievable courage of the valiant men in uniform were flooding the news channels, newspapers and magazines. While some just read the news with their morning cup of tea, others extended support to the officers and jawans by way of inspirational letters, cards and other gestures. This was the first time the country was privy to inside news from the war zone, thanks to the various reporters, who brought it right into their living rooms.

On this day, the country was waking up to the glorious news of another important feature, namely Knoll, being captured, ever so bravely, by the officers and men of the ‘Ever-Victorious’ 2 Rajputana Rifles, one of the most prestigious units of the Indian Army. But some families were destined to face the flip side of the victory. The painful side of war.

They woke up to the much-awaited call from the front. However, this time, they didn’t hear the voice they longed for.

A brother had no strength left to hold the receiver of the phone after hearing about his only sibling’s brave sacrifice.

A mother had her heart torn out as she was summoned home in the middle of her working day.

A father, who was always planning and building the brightest future for his son, bit by bit, had his dreams shattered into more pieces than he could count.

A young girl, who was busy counting the days until she would meet the handsome young officer her heart belonged to, was left abandoned.

A little child, who had perhaps learnt to smile again because of her angel in uniform, would never see his face again.

A friend, who was oceans away, had just dreamt of his best friend and woken up with a start, oblivious to what the phone call that would come barely a few minutes later had in store.

To the world he was but a man, but to many others he was the world.

The ‘world’, however, did come together, as the people of Noida made their way to Col Virender Thapar’s house on a hot Tuesday afternoon when they learnt of the brave sacrifice of a son of their own. The young boy—who had run on the streets and exercised in the parks till a couple of years ago, who had donned the smart uniform for barely six months after years of preparation—had breathed his last in the highest tradition of the Indian Army. They couldn’t wait to get a glimpse of the courageous son of their soil. The reaction the sacrifice of this young and valiant officer drew from an entire city was the first of its kind. Until that day, no other event had united the people of the city in such a manner. Men, women and children alike, with an overwhelming feeling of love and respect, came together in large numbers to pay respect to the fallen hero and extend their heartfelt support to the bereaved family. The brave soldier deserved the utmost respect from his country, and every person present was determined to give him just that.

Thousands of people surrounded his house and waited for him to arrive, wrapped in the tricolour. His family and friends tried to hold their own. Their eyes were wet and their hearts heavy despite being full of pride. No one said it aloud, but each one of them silently wished: ‘I wish it isn’t our Robin. Not our sweet Robin.’


Get to know the exceptional young man, and brave soldier, Captain Vijyant Thapar by reading his biography, Vijyant at Kargil. Order the e-book here.

Mass Entrepreneurship as a Solution to the Jobs Problem

Since 2012, the number of youth entrants into the labour force has increased at an accelerating pace, while the number of jobs created has decreased. This situation might become graver between 2020 and 2030 as the labour force swells further. Reviving Jobs, the third volume in the Rethinking India series, edited by Santosh Mehrotra, offers suggestions on how India can make the best use of the remaining period of its demographic dividend-any failure to do so will cause millions to suffer in poverty for decades to come.

In this excerpt, Sandhya Thukaram and Madan Padaki talk about mass entrepreneurship as a solution to the jobs problem.


India is a land of radical and substantive change. At any point of time, a revolution is underway. These revolutions are silent and not always evident, but nevertheless on the cusp of influencing change. This constant change affects people on a scale that is unimaginable elsewhere. There is a massive change silently transforming our economy, and this may well set the national discourse around growth and employment for decades to come. This is coupled with the extreme unemployment of our times, and these factors work in tandem and apart. But their interaction, and how we respond to it, can be significant to our economy’s future.

The major change is a demographic one, which all countries have gone through or will go through. India’s massive young population is one of the largest in the world—a double-edged sword which can be channelled to be India’s singular strength. It provides India and its businesses with a large supply of labour. It also means that there are a large number of consumers willing to buy the goods and services that generate income for these very businesses. This is good for the economy; the aggregate supply as well as demand can be high, creating a virtuous cycle that causes growth, employment and better lives for all.

However, simple macroeconomics tells us that an extremely high supply can mean there is an excess of the resource at hand, and very often that excess is simply discarded or devalued to a lower price. Millions now live in unemployment after being discarded by the economy, and millions more subsist through jobs that pay much less than they reasonably should.

But if one looks at it from a broader economic perspective, it doesn’t make sense. Labour is unique in the sense that it can create its own demand. By virtue of having to simply exist, the youth of this country have to consume goods and services. This consumption should boost demand in an economy, creating jobs that employ these same youth.

But amidst the worst unemployment we have seen in decades, this line of thinking is clearly wrong. We have the people, we have the demand, we have the labour, so why are there no jobs?

There are a few explanations. One is bad timing. Due to the NPA crisis, private investment in the economy is falling as firms are afraid to lend and individuals are afraid to borrow. Moreover, demonetization created a cash crunch that severely affected consumption and exports. The government is also in a mood for slow reform and no big projects with massive budgets have been laid that could have stimulated growth. Unlike the bull market of the 2000s, there is no supportive global environment that can boost growth. Had only one of these occurred, the other factors would have probably balanced it out. However, these did occur at the same time, and this hit growth and employment hard, causing high joblessness.

There is probably some truth to this explanation. These conditions could very likely have made the jobs crisis of recent times worse. But it is probable that the explanation is more structural than it being just the result of recent misfortune.

Jobs are not provided by big employers. The world’s largest private employer, Walmart, employs only 2.3 million people, and this number drops fast when you look at the next biggest employer. The next largest private employer, Foxconn, employs just a little more than 8,00,000, a third of Walmart’s figure.These numbers are massive. However, they are minuscule compared to the total workforce of a country (or the world, as these companies operate in several countries). Even if we gave all the jobs across the world at Walmart only to Indian youngsters, it would employ less than 1 per cent of them. So where will all the jobs come from?

To answer this, we refer to the words of Nobel Prize–winning economist Edmund Phelps, who wrote, ‘Most innovation (and job-creation) wasn’t driven by a few isolated visionaries like Henry Ford and Steve Jobs; rather, it was driven by millions of people empowered to think of, develop, and market innumerable new products and processes, and improvements to existing ones (in their local communities).This line captures the essence of mass entrepreneurship as a solution to the jobs problem.

Let us take a closer look at what Phelps is saying. He says that big companies and lone individuals did not and simply cannot provide the volume of employment any economy requires; even the largest of companies are minuscule compared to an economy. Instead, employment at that scale has to be provided by many, many small entrepreneurs. These entrepreneurs are nowhere near the size of large companies like Walmart, but instead employ only a handful of people. This number is usually above five and below twenty. These small entrepreneurs perform basic tasks in a local economy—a barber, a grocer, a pub owner.

This scenario, reproduced across hundreds of communities, creates the millions of jobs and growth that propel an economy. These are the people and businesses that have to provide employment for an economy. And that is the core of mass entrepreneurship.


You can read more about this in Reviving Jobs: An Agenda for Growth, which you can order here.

History of the Coronavirus

On the eve of 31 December 2019, as the world celebrated the start of a new decade, the province of Wuhan alerted the World Health Organization of several ‘flu-like’ cases. Less than a week later, a novel coronavirus, was identified. In February, the disease it caused was named COVID-19.

The symptoms of Coronavirus are dangerously similar to that of the common flu: fever, coughing, breathlessness, tiredness, headache and muscle pain. But in India, that has such a high population density, we will have to do more than just stick to Namaste to greet each other. What we need most right now is credible and comprehensive information from professionals that can help us understand what the Coronavirus is, and how we can prepare and protect ourselves against it.

Panic is historically an integral component of pandemics. Understanding the Coronavirus within a larger, historical context of pandemics and survival is crucial to prepare – mentally, emotionally, and strategically – for the times about to come. Find an introduction to the history of the coronavirus below:

The Coronavirus

The story of the coronavirus (CoV) begins with Dr David Arthur John Tyrrell, a British virologist studying the common cold. Dr Tyrrell was born in Middlesex, United Kingdom, in 1925, and completed his medical training in 1948. The same year, the Common Cold Research Unit (CCRU) was founded under the auspices of the United Kingdom’s Medical Research Council. In 1957, Dr Tyrrell joined the unit, excited at the prospect of developing a cure for the common cold and, in 1982, became its director.

At the CCRU, he experimented on volunteers to study viruses responsible for the common cold. Newspaper advertisements offered a unique ten-day stay at CCRU where

The volunteers would be infected with preparations of a cold virus. They would be paid £1.75 per day and would be housed in small groups, strictly isolated from one another.

In 1965, Dr Tyrrell’s team isolated an unusual virus from a young boy with the common cold. They exposed several volunteers to his nasal washings and they developed a cold. Interestingly, the virus, initially named B814 after the number of nasal washings, grew exclusively on human embryonic tracheal cultures.

In 1966, Dr Dorothy Hamre and Dr John Procknow identified a similar virus in medical students sick with a cold. Later that year, Dr Tyrrell demonstrated under an electron microscope that the new virus resembled the bird bronchitis virus and the mouse hepatitis virus. With this new information, scientists around the world identified related viruses, giving them similarly unimaginative alphanumeric names. Shortly thereafter, these new viruses were collectively named coronaviruses (CoVs) for their crown-like appearance.

Dr David Tyrrell’s brilliant discovery laid the groundwork for modern research on coronaviruses. Scientists have since identified numerous coronaviruses in a multitude of animal species. These include alpha, beta, gamma, and delta coronaviruses. Gamma and delta coronaviruses infect birds and have not been proven to cause human infections. Alpha and beta coronaviruses have infected humans and many other mammals, especially bats. The seven coronaviruses that have infected humans are called human coronaviruses (HCoVs). Of these, HCoV-229E and HCoV-NL63 are two human alphacoronaviruses, while HCoV-HKU1 and HCoV-OC43 are two human betacoronaviruses. Last, there are the three notorious human betacoronaviruses that have caused SARS, MERS and the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. The WHO has declared COVID-19 as the most dangerous threat to world public health, the first pandemic due to a coronavirus.


To understand responses and possible ways forward by placing COVID-19 in a historical context, the authors mention Lord Byron’s words: ‘The best prophet of the future is the past’.

A complete story of a disease must include the 5 Ws: the what, who, where, when and why. Epidemiologists are the disease detectives who investigate a new disease like COVID-19. They explore the what (health issue of concern), who (person or people affected), where (place in which the disease is occurring), when (time course of the disease) and why (causes, risk factors, modes of transmission).Stories of past pandemics and viruses help disease investigators and scientists build this framework in order to tackle the novel Coronavirus affecting the world currently.

The Coronavirus: What You Need to Know About the Global Pandemic is the first book that addresses the history, evolution, facts and myths around the pandemic.

Esha Deol Thaktani’s Yummy Food Recipe for Your Kids

When can I introduce my baby to solid foods?

Becoming a new mother can be an exciting yet overwhelming time. No matter how prepared you are, there will always be many confusing moments, opinions and a whole lot of drama! And just like any other new mom, Esha Deol Takhtani was faced with many such questions soon after the birth of her two daughters-Radhya and Miraya.

Packed with advice, tips, stories and easy and delicious recipes for toddlers, Amma Mia reflects the personal journey of one woman’s transformation into a mother. Informative and easy to follow, this book will help new mothers navigate the ups and downs of raising a healthy toddler and make their child fall in love with food.

 

 

Read a recipe from the book below:

 

Continental Potato Wrap
Ingredients
1 tbsp. cumin seeds
 ½ tbsp.  mustard seeds
1 small onion, chopped
1 tbsp. ginger–garlic paste
1 potato
 ½ tbsp. turmeric powder
½ tbsp. amchur powder
 ¼ tbsp. garam masala powder
 ½ cup of water
 ½ cup of flour, to which you may add ¼ tsp. salt
 1 tbsp. oil
Direction
  • In a pan add oil and sauté cumin seeds, mustard seeds, chopped onion and ginger–garlic paste. Fry well. Add the spices and mix well.
  • Add enough water and salt to the flour so it achieves the consistency of dosa batter.
  • Mix the potato in with the rest of the mixture till cooked.
  • In a non-stick pan, pour refined oil and spread the flour batter like you would to make a dosa. Fill the stuffing in the centre. Fold it properly and fry on a low flame. Your tasty breakfast is ready to be served.

 

 

For more tips and tricks, check out Amma Mia by Esha Deol Takhtani.

 

Shake a Leg with Mandira Bedi’s Workout Playlist

Mandira Bedi is a fitness icon. But behind the six-pack is also a snotty, complaining, can’t-get-out-of-bed-today girl who, in her own way, is still searching for true happiness. Not conditional, materialistic, transactional happiness, but just happiness. So has she cracked it yet? Mandira says ‘No’. But she genuinely believes that she’s headed in the right direction. In her own chaotic way, she seems to have discovered some kind of non-scientific, non-spiritual and as-yet-non-existent formula for finding peace in everything. Just being happy for no reason.

 

We are sharing here one of her secrets from Happy For No Reason: her terrific playlist for power-packed workout sessions!

 

 

 

Mandira Bedi’s Top 40 Workout Songs (You Will Never Need Another Playlist)
  1. Have It All (Jason Mraz)
  2.  Woke Up Late (Drax Project)
  3.  Build Me Up Buttercup (The Foundation)
  4.  Old Town Road (Lil Nas X)
  5.  Don’t Start Now (Dua Lipa)
  6.  Close to Me (Ellie Goulding)
  7.  Titanium (David Guetta)
  8.  Keeping Me Under (Two Another)
  9.  Glorious (Macklemore)
  10.  More Mess (Kungs)
  11.  Don’t Matter to Me (Drake & Michael Jackson)
  12.  Empire State of Mind (Jay-Z & Alicia Keys)
  13.  Truth Hurts (Lizzo)
  14.  Don’t Stop ’Til You Get Enough (Michael Jackson)
  15.  The Shape of You (Ed Sheeran)
  16.  Faith (Wham)
  17. Wasabi (Little Mix)
  18. Memories (Maroon 5)
  19. Day ’n’ Nite (Kidi Cudi)
  20. 2 in a Million (Steve Aoki, Sting & SHAED)
  21. Body (Loud Luxury & Brando)
  22.  24k Magic (Bruno Mars)
  23.  Respect (Arethra Franklin)
  24.  Feel It Still (Portugal. The Man)
  25.  Rock DJ (Robbie Williams)
  26.  Feels (Calvin Harris)
  27.  Cake by the Ocean (DNCE)
  28.  Firework (Katy Perry)
  29.  Dancing in the Moonlight (Toploader)
  30.  Middle of a Heartbreak (Leland)
  31.  Classic (MKTO)
  32.  Wild Thoughts (DJ Khaled)
  33.  Hand in My Pocket (Alanis Morissette)
  34.  Attention (Charlie Puth)
  35.  Sweet like Cola (Lou Bega)
  36.  Desert Rose (Sting)
  37.  Good Thing (Zedd & Kehlani)
  38.  Talk (Khalid)
  39.  Catch & Release (Matt Simmons)
  40.  Sky Full of Stars (Coldplay)

    To find out more of Mandira’s secrets for being Happy For No Reason, get the book here 🙂

How the Onion Got Its Layers – An Excerpt

Have you noticed how the onion has so many layers? And have you seen your mother’s eyes water when she cuts an onion? Here is a remarkable story to tell you why. India’s favourite storyteller brings alive this timeless tale with her inimitable wit and simplicity. Dotted with charming illustrations, this gorgeous chapter book is the ideal introduction for beginners to the world of Sudha Murty.

 

Read below an excerpt from the book:

 

The kingdom of Ullas was very prosperous. The subjects were happy, the farmers had grown a bumper crop and the kingdom was surrounded by friendly allies. But the king and queen of Ullas were very sad. Their sadness seemed to envelop them wherever they went. This was because they really longed for a child and did not have one.

 

 

One day, they learnt of a place in the forests in the kingdom where, if you prayed hard and well, you were granted your wish.
They went there and for many days, prayed to the goddess of the forest for a long time. Finally, their prayers were heard and the goddess appeared before them in a flash of green light.
‘What do you wish for, my dear children?’ she asked.
The king and queen, overjoyed, bowed low and said, ‘We wish to have a child.’
‘So be it, you will soon have a little girl,’ said the goddess, shimmering in the greenery. ‘But remember, though she will be a loving child, she will have one flaw: She will love new clothes too much and it will make life difficult for you. Do you still want such a child?’
The king and queen looked at each other with their eyes full of hope and love. ‘Yes, we do,’ they said to the goddess. ‘We can’t think of anything else we want more in this world.’
The goddess smiled and vanished back among the trees.

Get your e-copy of How the Onion Got its Layers here 🙂

Best of times, Worst of Times: Momspeak Perspectives

Momspeak: The funny, bittersweet story of motherhood in India is an original, provocative book that peels off the layers of social propriety and delves deep into the visceral reality of motherhood, much glorified but barely understood in India. Exploring the spectrum of experiences mothers have as women, as humans—from ecstasy to depression, jealous possessiveness to indifference, exhaustion to sensual desire—Pooja Pande reveals the personal, social and emotional roller-coaster that motherhood can be.

 

This Mother’s Day, Pooja Pande shares her thoughts on the experience of motherhood during these unprecedented times, and shares an excerpt from Momspeak. Read on below.

 

These may be the best of times and the worst of times

 

It’s the best of times because a pandemic the intensity of which they say is still to come has already caused the human race, every single human being on the planet, to take stock, in different ways, of their lives, their selves, their pasts, presents, and futures.

It’s the worst of times because a pandemic, the intensity of which they say is still to come, has already crippled nations, it’ peoples, its leaders, its economies, claiming lives by the millions, affecting many more. The uncertainty is a never before experienced event for all of humanity.

The uncertainty has caused a never before experienced event of togetherness. As always, even with this global health crisis worsening by the day, perspective is everything. And there’s no other experience that works wonders for putting things into perspective – by first shattering and then reshaping it – than motherhood. Right from carrying the life inside her to birthing, going onto watch her grow, shaping what she can, and above all, letting her go, for she has to ultimately forge her path in the world, a mother’s only lesson is one in perspective.

Thoughts I gathered on this lesson holds me in stead during these best and worst of times – it asks of me to turn the worst of times into the best. I explored them deeply in the chapter titled Letting Go, in my new book Momspeak, and On Mother’s Day today, I’d like to share them with you.

The letting go has to do with the future too, and a preparation, affirmation, acknowledgement of it. We all know we’re going to die, but do we ever mindfully contemplate a world where we have ceased to exist? Nisha, mother to Nakul and Neel, voices this, but she poses a string of fun questions to me, ‘Like, have you ever thought how one day your daughter might be a super-famous pop singer and you will become the famous X ki maa? And then you’ll be a Wikipedia entry when you’re dead? What does that mean?’ Even as I reel from Nisha’s clairvoyant probing—how does she know about Ahaana’s predilection and penchant for crooning Ariana Grande songs?—she goes all existential, but in a good way, ‘It’s a deep, changing the centre of the universe, kind of truth. Genetically, sure, it’s a perpetuation of your pool. But, for all practical purposes, they’re a memento mori—a symbol of your death, your mortality—from the moment they are born. And really, nothing else.’ When they say birth and death are intrinsically intertwined, this is what it means for the mother who has done the birthing business—not only is the certainty of death a given for the one who has just been born, the mother, in her near-death experience of giving birth, is also, in effect, that much closer to it. This universal truth draws attention to itself bang in the middle of her giving life. (…) It is up to us to seek the affirmation inherent in it then, because letting go does not mean you do not care. Oh no. There is much too much building and shaping and crafting and moulding to be done here, with a lot of care. Oh yes. It is, in some sense, an ultimate letting go, because you have made a bid for reaching out to the universe.


Read the many funny, bittersweet stories of motherhood in Pooja Pande’s Momspeak. Get the book here.

Building a Happy Family – An Interview with Raageshwari Loomba Swaroop

You can’t have a happy family unless you’re happy yourself. Raageshwari Loomba, an award-winning speaker on mindfulness, shows us how to create an excellent atmosphere for the entire family to thrive in. Her relatable style is coupled with real-life examples, such as that of Albert Einstein, who couldn’t speak till the age of four and was a poor student. His parents encouraged him with love and allowed him to learn at his own pace. This, she shows, is the way to bring up your own little genius.
Building a Happy Family brings to you 11 simple mindfulness philosophies that will enrich and strengthen your and your children’s inner world. Through scientific research and her own intimate story of heartbreak and facial paralysis, Raageshwari emphasises how our thoughts can manifest further struggles or glory, and how teaching children early that our inner world attracts our outer world is key. Parents are taught to encourage their children’s original expressions, creativity and joy, and not lose sight of it in their own lives too. This is the secret to a happy family.

 

Read below an interview with the author:

 

Please tell us about a piece of advice that you got from your mother and still hold on to.

As a child, I remember standing in the kitchen beside my beloved Mom Veera, watching her cook. She would return from office and whip up a delicious tadka dal. She always said and repeats even today “Be grateful you have food that you can eat. Be grateful that you have a family to share it with”. As a child, it translated in my mind to the idea that women must cook. But today, I know the deeper significance it has is to create the true essence of a family. It’s all about gratitude, simplicity and togetherness. 

 

You mention in the book that parenting is about raising the parent and not the child. Would you like to tell us about how you came to a realization this profound?

Even as a child, I would spend time with children younger than me. In school, my friends would be looking for me but I would be helping the teachers in the kindergarten section. I have always loved  spending time with toddlers. Where others see tantrums, I see wisdom. I like that toddlers are mindful, easy-going, loving, forgiving and filled with unique insights. They hold no grudges from the past and have no anxiety about the future. The way they learn to walk is a treat to watch. They have single-minded focus. They fall many times but they stand up and try again. And it’s not out of a sense of competition. They are not looking over their shoulders to see if other toddlers have started to walk first. They simply excel in completing the tasks that matter to them. They walk up to strangers and cuddle and bond, not affected by any culture, status or moral ground. They relish these moments and enjoy them to the fullest. What a marvellous attribute of Mindfulness they have. What a pity we parents make them lose it. However, we are well-meaning parents, and once had these very qualities too. So it makes me wonder why many of us don’t see that we can learn about life from these ‘little masters’!

 

With parents in metropolitan cities working longer hours, children have less access and time to spend with their parents. Any tips on how families can consciously work on this?

Parents who work don’t have any lesser of a bond with their children than the parents who are home with their children all day. The secret lies in connecting with your child and their deep interests. A study by the University of Toronto published in the Journal of Marriage and Family in 2015 said that the average number of hours that parents spend with their children has only grown over the years, contrary to what parents may feel or believe. It has grown from 7.3 hours in 1975 to 13.7 hours in 2010, even as the share of mothers working outside the home rose from 41% in 1965 to 71% in 2014. For fathers, the number rose from 2.4 hours in 1975 to 7.2 hours in 2010. Yet, we parents think we are not doing enough and end up feeling guilty and at fault. So the answer lies in quality time. It is not at all important to always hover around your children to build a bond with them. In fact, step back, and try to enjoy just a 15-minute play date filled with presence, no agenda and complete trust. The idea is to be fully present and give them your complete attention whenever you are with them.

 

You emphasize on reading as a habit. Which were your favourite books growing up?

Little Snow Girl, Cinderella and Ramayana immediately bring back memories of my childhood. I actually think Cinderella is a masterpiece if explained to a child well. I had little focus on the Prince. For me, the moral of the story was loud and clear—if you are kind, miracles will surround you.

 

What is the best time for kids to use affirmations during the day? How can a parent choose the right one?

The morning time as they wake up is the best for affirmations, because a good night’s sleep is a mental cleanser. As we wake up, we are naturally in a meditative state. So it is best to stand in front of the mirror or affirm in bed itself to cement your cleansed mind with these beliefs. Choose affirmations according to an attribute you wish to invite into your life. Observe that most probably the child will mirror qualities that you possess or struggle to have yourself.  For example, if your child is shy, but wishes to be an extrovert, let them affirm something like, ‘I love my ideas, and I happily share them with the world’. If your child is struggling to focus on books, they can affirm, ‘I enjoy observing the shape of numbers and letters in books.’ If the child is older the affirmation could be, ‘Books are my doorway to great ideas. I’m falling in love with books on a daily basis.’ If your child stammers (first observe if the home has caustic fights, or if the child or either parent is reprimanded constantly to ‘shut up’ or ‘be quiet’) the affirmation could be, ‘I love the sound of my own voice. The world loves the sound of my own voice. I speak clearly just like a king/queen. 

 

Raising kids in a competitive world can bring out parents’ insecurities at times. Any suggestions on dealing with those?

This book is not about training your child to be the best. This book is about making YOU realise that you already have the best child. The Mindfulness journey can only begin from this thought.  Observe ‘successful adults ’ (according to your definition )  Do they look happy? The highest number of mental health tragedies are linked to the so-called ‘high achievers’. Our definitions of success and accomplishments will have to change. Most of us adults walk around directionless, and with that empty soul we decide to guide our children. We will have to first nurture our inner child and tell ourselves ‘we are perfect the way we are’. And we will have to allow our children to follow their bliss. We as a community of families, schools and colleges will have to collectively re-define success and accomplishments so our children can truly thrive. We will have to focus on building their inner world first. It is important to make them believe that they are perfect the way they are, and that a parents’ love is not conditional at any cost. We adults will have to first believe ourselves that happiness is not a moving target; happiness is right here, right now.

 

Looking after yourself before others is necessary for an emotionally healthy life and also very tricky when you’re teaching your kids. Any tips for parents on this?

In my book, I feel the most important chapter is one called ‘Oxygen mask theory’. When you are energized with oxygen first, you will be more alert and able to attend to your child and navigate a crisis situation far better. Parenting too needs an oxygen mask theory. Your needs are like oxygen. Parents must learn to attend to their own needs first, so they can enjoy parenting, not have outbursts and handle decisions with balance. Another important reason why you must value your needs is that it sends an important message to your child. I talk about childhood patterns in the book, so if you want your child to grow up as someone who nurtures himself/herself, then there is no better person than you to show this to your child!

 

 If you could go back to your 20-year-old self and give her a piece of advice, what would that be?

Forgive and let go of the past, don’t worry about the future. Just enjoy this beautiful moment called NOW!

 

 On the occasion of Mother’s Day, is there a message you’d like to share with all the wonderful mothers out there?

First I want to make a space for women who may be struggling to become mothers biologically. I always think of you on every Mother’s Day. I want you to remember this—we women are born mothers. There is something deeply spiritual how daughters nurture their parents from the moment they are born. So you were, are and always will be a mother.

Happy Mother’s Day! Now I would like to wish the rest of us who have been lucky to have been blessed with a child. Remember that you have a child, which is a blessing.  On Mother’s Day, I would like to all  of us to remember that we are the only ones who can understand each other’s pain, shortcomings, guilt and turmoil like no one else can. Hence, we must be the last ones to cause pain to each other’s soul.

Happy Mother’s Day!


 

Get your copy of Building a Happy Family here 🙂

What Does Motherhood Mean?

As much as we celebrate motherhood and mothers, the diversity of experiences of mothers as individuals are rarely talked about.

As with everything else, literature gives us an expansive space to explore different facets of motherhood, and the nuances of women’s experiences as mothers. On Mother’s Day, we are looking at some powerful narratives that celebrated mothers as more than mothers – as women, as individuals, and as humans.

 

Momspeak

What is it like to be a mother in India?

Pooja Pande peels off the layers of social propriety to delve deep into the visceral reality of motherhood, much glorified but barely understood in India. Exploring the spectrum of experiences mothers have as women, as humans-from ecstasy to depression, jealous possessiveness to indifference, exhaustion to sensual desire-she reveals the personal, social and emotional roller-coaster motherhood can be.

 

Sarojini’s Mother

Is motherhood a purely biological concept?

Sarojini-Saz-Campbell comes to India to search for her biological mother. Adopted and taken to England at an early age, she has a degree from Cambridge and a mathematician’s brain adept in solving puzzles. Her story is a poignant exploration of motherhood as an emotional concept over a biological one; especially through Sarojini’s powerful connection with her adoptive mother Lucy, whose loss is what gets her to look for her ‘real’ mother in an attempt to find purpose in her life.

 

A Good Wife: Escaping the Life I Never Chose

This memoir does away with all conventional preconceptions to explore a personal experience of enforced wifehood and motherhood. Within this, we also find an overarching female experience through the mother-daughter bond.

Married off at fifteen, Samra Zafar suffered her husband’s emotional and physical abuse that left her feeling isolated, humiliated and assaulted. Desperate to get out, and refusing to give up, she hatched an escape plan for herself and her two daughters.
 

My Mother is in the Air Force

Another way of breaking barriers is putting a spin to the “superhero” trope for the mums!

Rohan thinks his mom is a bit like a superhero-she flies in to save the day, she loops and swoops between the clouds, she even jumps off planes wearing parachutes! Told from the son’s perspective, this story is unconventional and heartwarming in its depiction of a modern mother working for the air force, and how that informs her child’s perspective of her; an especially important story when the concept of a ‘working mother’ is still so nebulous in the Indian society.

Millionaire Housewives

Millionaire Housewives tells the stories of twelve enterprising homemakers who, in spite of having no prior experience in business, managed to build successful empires through the single-minded pursuit of their goal, defying all stereotypes.

This title features on our list because of the real, personal stories it tells of entrepreneurship and innovation in a society where ‘homemakers’ are often unacknowledged and unseen in their contributions.


Motherhood is a layered concept – like any other human experience. These stories are just some examples wherein writers explore the unseen and unspoken emotions of mothers and women. Which stories about mothers have stayed with you? Share with us in the comments below!

All Books Talk . . . and Listen! – The How’s and Why’s of Making your Child a Reader

‘If you want your children to be intelligent, read fairy tales to them.’  

—Albert Einstein 

You can’t have a happy family unless you’re happy yourself. Raageshwari Loomba, an award-winning speaker on mindfulness, shows us how to create an excellent atmosphere for the entire family to thrive in. Her new book, Building a Happy Family brings to you 11 simple mindfulness philosophies that will enrich and strengthen your and your children’s inner world. 

Through scientific research and her own intimate story of heartbreak and facial paralysis, Raageshwari emphasises how our thoughts can manifest further struggles or glory, and how teaching children early that our inner world attracts our outer world is key.

In this excerpt from her new book, Raageshwari tells you about the benefits of reading, and how to get your children to become readers! 


Imagination will save the day 

Einstein said, ‘Imagination is everything.’ It can relieve a child of stress or anxiety and have creative benefits for you as well. It’s the only pathway for us to escape into a magical world, especially when things are not going our way. If your boss is acting boorish, or you’re stuck in a traffic jam or have a dentist’s appointment coming up, you have to shift focus to something joyful and uplifting. 

Imagination truly thrives with the guidance of books. No wonder research in 2016 by Harvard Health Publishing (Harvard Medical School) says that ‘reading books could add years to your life’. I definitely think it has to do with them being happier as they have more imagination. 

‘The researchers studied the records of 5635 participants in the health and retirement study, an ongoing investigation of people who were fifty or older had provided information on their reading habits when the study began. They determined that people who read books regularly had a 20 per cent lower risk of dying over the next twelve years compared with people who weren’t readers or who read periodicals. This difference remained regardless of race, education, state of health, wealth, marital status and depression.’ 

Now, children need imagination to believe that anything is achievable and possible, especially during their most formative years when they build beliefs and patterns for life. 

Reading books to children helps boost their brain power, as opposed to the TV or phone, which offers comatose viewing that actually stills the brain. 

Reading to children introduces them to emotions that we display as we read out to them. As a result, your child will have a larger vocabulary, greater confidence and wonderful social skills. 

Perhaps you already know all this, but did you know that YOU are the greatest conduit through which your child will learn to love books? 

Sudhanshu and I read to Samaya every evening even when she was in my womb. We decided to watch TV only by appointment over the weekends and view shows that were musical or uplifting. We knew that if we wished to inculcate reading habits in our child, we would have to first do away with mindless browsing of the Internet or the TV. 

We bought fairy-tale books that we had loved as children. We loved reading them to Samaya. It opened so many windows into our own childhood and interesting memories came flooding back. I cannot recommend this practice enough. You will bond as a couple on deeper levels. 

Plant the seeds of reading 

When Samaya was born, we read picture pop-up books to her every evening. Sometimes she would cry, sometimes babble, sometimes just go to sleep, but we were consistent and never ended a reading session without finishing a book. Soon she started to nibble on the books, and then she started to tear them and destroy them. We accepted this interaction. It was a relationship with books, and we had to be patient and be positive that it would grow into a lifelong bond. As she grew up, she crawled around distracted, while we kept reading to her after supper every evening. It did seem she was least interested, but we knew she was absorbing it all like a sponge. Samaya would look at covers and jabber away, trying to say the names. 

At fifteen months old, she pulled out a book from her library and came running to us, prattling, ‘Story book.’ She was hooked to one of the purest forms of entertainment, the most loyal friend one can have, and a world of its own: books! 

At age two, she knew her choices and intricate titles such as Incredible You, Snail and the Whale and Giraffes Can’t Dance. She is now three, and her mornings begin with a book and her evenings end with a book. She uses words such as kaleidoscope, stabilizer, Stegosaurus, Panchatantra and meditation. She is forming an understanding of good and bad, why empathy is important, why reaching out to strangers can be a good thing too. 

Reading for pleasure 

I know of many adults who read long and information- packed documents all day at the office. Hence, they don’t wish to read a word when they come back home, let alone read to children. I understand as I’m married to a barrister. However, reading for pleasure is completely different, and there is enough research to back this. Scientists have urged professionals to not mix ‘reading information’ with ‘reading for pleasure’.1 Evidence suggests that no matter how stressed and worn out you may be, once you read for pleasure, you immediately feel re-energized as this is a mindful activity of stepping into another world. 

Adults argue with me, saying that TV is a greater escape as they just have to sit on a couch with food and enjoy a show. I don’t disregard TV, as with selective viewing we can gain immense insights and knowledge. However, if you are seeking mindfulness, peace and energy in your life, books are a far greater escape. 

TV and films may also bring new worlds into our lives with vibrant characters. They can push us to the edge of our seats and entertain, but books are inclusive. With books, it becomes about your story, your character and your life. This movement in the brain leads to imagination that is vital in our world today. 

Reading for pleasure entails picking up a book that has no connection with your work. So it could be a book on travel, science fiction, a biography or just a cookbook. It is reading a book with no agenda and no schema, for relaxation and the joy it brings you. 

Interestingly, for toddlers, every book is a pathway to pleasure. 

Reading parents will have reading children 

I have learnt that discipline and diktats rarely work in the long run. They have not worked on us and will not work on our children, especially if you want confident children with free spirits and buzzing minds. What works is setting examples. BE what you wish to see. We cannot expect our children to pick up books if we are busy picking up phones. Your children look up to you more than you know. Hence, they love aping you. So grab a book and get started. Remain focused and give books your complete commitment first, and the rest will follow. 

In case the well-being of the family is not incentive enough, the beauty about the glorious habit of reading is that you will finally start to connect with your core and the real you. People spend a lifetime being lost, without knowing themselves. With books, you will gift this pathway to self- realization to your child and yourself. 

You may frown upon my selling reading to you when your concern is your children. Well, children do not do as they are told but as they see. Research tells us that children who become avid readers live in an environment where family members read at home. Parents who are members of libraries, read books and read aloud to their children are twice as likely to have children who are voracious readers. Also, you must be aware by now that this book emphasizes the philosophy that mindful parenting is about bringing up the parent and not the child. The focus has to be on us, our inner world, be it when we are dealing with children, spouses or our colleagues at work. Once you master this art, you will thrive. 


In Building a Happy Family, parents are taught to encourage their children’s original expressions, creativity and joy, and not lose sight of it in their own lives too. This is the secret to a happy family!

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