Read an exclusive excerpt from The Art of Conversation: “The Power of the Question”

INTRODUCTION TO QUESTIONING

Asking questions is an essential skill in any conversation. It helps gather information, gain clarity and show interest in the other person. However, asking the right questions requires practice and understanding of different types of questions.

This section will cover the basics of questioning and how it can enhance your communication skills. We will also explore the power of open-ended and closed-ended questions and when to use them effectively.

In the complex dance of human interaction, a powerful tool exists that can unlock doors, forge connections and illuminate the path to understanding: the art of questioning. As Voltaire eloquently said, ‘Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.’ Questions are not mere inquiries; they are catalysts for thought, sparks that ignite curiosity and pathways to deeper knowledge.

Some of human communication is non-verbal, a silent symphony of expressions, gestures and subtle cues. Yet, within the spoken word lies an extraordinary power to shape perception, influence outcomes and build rapport. And at the heart of this power lies the question.

Questions are not simply tools for gathering information; they are instruments of connection. When we ask a question, we extend an invitation—to share, engage and collaborate. We signal our interest, curiosity and willingness to learn. And in that exchange, we open a window into the minds and hearts of others.

But not all questions are created equal. Some questions are closed, seeking a simple yes or no answer. Others are open-ended, inviting exploration and elaboration. And still others are leading, subtly guiding the conversation towards a desired outcome. The most effective questions are those that are carefully crafted, thoughtfully delivered and genuinely curious. They are questions that challenge assumptions, spark new ideas and encourage deeper reflection.

In the realm of professional success, the art of questioning is an indispensable skill. Whether you’re interviewing for a job, negotiating a deal or leading a team, the ability to ask the right questions can make all the difference. It can help you uncover hidden opportunities, build trust and rapport and create a culture of collaboration and innovation.

Take the example of a job interview. A well-prepared candidate will not only answer the interviewer’s questions thoughtfully but will also ask insightful questions of their own. This demonstrates initiative, curiosity and a genuine interest in the role and company. It can also help the candidate assess whether the job is a good fit for their skills and aspirations.

In the world of sales, questions are the lifeblood of the relationship between the salesperson and the customer. By asking the right questions, a salesperson can uncover the customer’s needs, pain points and motivations. This information is essential for tailoring the sales pitch and closing the deal.

However, the power of questioning extends far beyond the realms of interviews and sales. In any professional setting, the ability to ask the right questions can help you build relationships, influence outcomes and achieve your goals. It can help you gain a deeper understanding of your colleagues, customers and your industry. It can help you identify problems, develop solutions and drive innovation.

Questions are not just for the workplace, of course. They are essential tools for personal growth and development. When we ask ourselves questions, we challenge our assumptions, expand our perspectives and deepen our understanding of ourselves and the world around us.

But perhaps the most important questions we can ask are those that challenge us to think critically, question the status quo and envision a better future. These are the questions that drive innovation, inspire creativity and lead to positive change.

In the words of Albert Einstein, ‘The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.’ When we embrace the power of questioning, we open ourselves up to a world of possibilities. We expand our knowledge, deepen our understanding and forge stronger connections with others. And, in so doing, we unlock the full potential of human interaction.

The art of questioning is not simply a skill to be mastered; it is a way of life. It is a commitment to curiosity, a thirst for knowledge and a willingness to engage with the world around us. When we embrace the power of questioning, we embark on a journey of lifelong learning and discovery. And, in that journey, we find not only answers but also the inspiration to ask even more questions.

So, the next time you find yourself in a conversation, whether it’s with a colleague, a customer or a loved one, remember the power of the question. Ask with curiosity, listen with intention and be open to the unexpected. For in the art of questioning lies the key to unlocking the full potential of human connection and achieving professional success.

The Importance of Questions ‘Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.’
—Voltaire

Renowned French philosopher Voltaire, with this simple yet profound statement, encapsulates the essence of questions—the power they hold in shaping thoughts, driving discovery and fostering understanding. In the grand scheme of communication, questions often take a backseat to answers.

We are conditioned to believe that answers signify knowledge, authority and perhaps even power. However, a paradigm shift is underway. The spotlight is now on the art of asking questions, the skill that fuels intellectual curiosity, ignites creativity and builds meaningful connections.

The Question as a Catalyst for Change

In an era overflowing with information, the ability to ask the right questions is a potent tool. Questions act as catalysts, propelling us beyond the surface level of knowledge to uncover deeper insights. They challenge assumptions, spark debate and invite a plurality of perspectives. In the realms of science, philosophy, business and personal development, questions are not merely tools for gathering information; they are instruments of transformation.

Consider the groundbreaking discoveries that have shaped our world—from Albert Einstein’s theory of relativity to the development of the Internet. Each of these monumental achievements was born out of a simple question, a spark of curiosity that ignited a quest for knowledge. In a similar vein, businesses that foster a culture of inquiry are more likely to innovate and adapt to a rapidly changing landscape. By encouraging employees to question the status quo, companies create an environment where ideas flourish and solutions emerge.

The Question as a Bridge to Understanding

Questions are the threads that weave connections between individuals. They invite dialogue, foster empathy and build trust. When we ask questions, we demonstrate a genuine interest in others, their experiences and their perspectives. This act of curiosity creates a space for shared understanding and mutual respect.

Questions have the power to bridge the gaps between us. By seeking to understand rather than to judge, we open the door to dialogue and collaboration. Questions invite us to step outside our echo chambers and engage with those who hold different beliefs and values. In this way, questions become a force for unity and reconciliation.

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Read an exclusive excerpt from The Money Ball: “Before You Leap—Are You Truly Ready to Be an Entrepreneur?”

Are You Ready to Be an Entrepreneur—Before You Get Started

‘Entrepreneurship is living a few years of your life like most people won’t, so you can spend the rest of your life like most people can’t,’ goes a famous quote.

While all of us aspire towards the life that the latter half of the quote hints at, the journey needs to begin by assessing if we are indeed ready for the first half. That is exactly where we need to begin—by looking at some of the prerequisites to take this tough yet life-changing road.

The Entrepreneurial Mindset

We have all heard about how entrepreneurship offers solutions to a wide range of challenges besides sparking innovation and fuelling economies. To do this, there needs to be an important catalyst in place—an entrepreneurial mindset. That resilient, resourceful and solutions-oriented approach that is unshaken even in the most adverse circumstances. While all of this sounds extremely heroic, even magical, it needs deep reflection for you to ascertain if you indeed have the mindset required to succeed. My suggestion would be to get down to the brass tacks and think of the following four aspects in particular to ascertain your entrepreneurial readiness quotient.

1. Deferred Gratification

You may have heard of the famous marshmallow experiment conducted at Stanford University in the 1960s that explored the benefits of delayed gratification. Essentially, children were seated in a room with a single marshmallow on a plate and were told they could eat it now, or wait fifteen minutes, which would allow them to receive two marshmallows in place of one. The study found that the children who opted to wait tended to have better life outcomes, including but not limited to higher SAT scores, lower BMI, fewer instances of substance abuse and more. The Marshmallow Test provides powerful lessons that are directly applicable to entrepreneurship. After all, it could take several months or years of hard work before you can start seeing profitability in your business and achieve healthy cash flows. All this while, however, you have to be able to make decisions that set your business up to win in the long-term. In the context of entrepreneurship then, embracing delayed gratification means investing time, effort and resources into building a solid foundation for the business, rather than seeking quick profits. The question to ask yourself is: Are you willing to grind day after day, laying the groundwork for the future. Can you dedicate yourself to business fundamentals even as you delay immediate gratification?

If your answer to the above questions is a well-thoughtout yes, odds are that you will be able to create value, foster innovation and achieve lasting success in your venture.

2. Risk

In December 2008, Tesla (that produced high-end electric cars) and SpaceX (that built rockets) were on the verge of financial collapse. The year had been tough for the founder, Elon Musk, since both companies were in trouble and cash was down to nothing. Musk needed $40 million to keep Tesla afloat. He pieced together $20 million of his own money and leaned on investors to match the amount. The nail-biting story of a last-minute rescue that prevented Tesla from bankruptcy and preserved the electric car dream at a time when major US car companies had abandoned electric vehicle production is told in a biography by the acclaimed journalist and writer Walter Isaacson. Entrepreneurial folklore is replete with other such examples of entrepreneurs who took massive risks. In fact, if there is one quality that is common to all entrepreneurs—whether they spearhead an early-stage start-up or are leading a company that clocks hundreds of millions of dollars in revenue—it has to be their ability to take game-changing risks. Simply put, risk-taking is the willingness to take chances in the pursuit of gain, even when the outcome is uncertain. Some of the many risks that entrepreneurs face include leaving a steady pay cheque, using personal savings with no guarantee of a return on investment misjudging customer interest in a product or service . . . the list goes on. So much so that risk is said to be what’s left over after you think you’ve thought of everything.

When you talk to people about what it means to be a ‘risk-taker,’ however, most people will begin describing daredevils and gamblers. Yet, that is not what risk-taking in terms of entrepreneurship means. Above anything, successful entrepreneurs need to be calculated risk-takers.

Ask yourself where you score on the ‘calculated risktaking’ scale. Do you have a preference for working with certainty and are you paralysed by fear when it comes to decision-making? Or do you thrive on taking measured risks? That said, taking calculated risks is like building a muscle. It’s not easy and it takes practice, but done well, you can actually start to enjoy it. Importantly, it is this ability to take calculated risks that, in turn, allows the founders to enjoy a huge upside on account of their high ownership stakes, when the start-up begins to grow.

3. No Fixed Salary

‘Dear Customer, Acct XXXX is credited with Rs XXXX on 1 January. Info: Salary’

This is one familiar ping that many of us take delight in on the first of every month. If you are making a transition to entrepreneurship from a corporate role, you particularly need to think this aspect through very carefully, for it is a pleasure that you will have to forgo at least in the early stages. It goes without saying that this comes with several lifestyle and mindset adjustments that you need to be prepared for.

That said, it is also important to state that your ability to negotiate your salary grows as the start-up transitions through various stages. Below are a few benchmarks that are prevalent in the industry and can be used to decide your own salaries at various stages of fundraising, a concept that we will delve into in detail in some of the later chapters:
• Seed: Most founder salaries at the seed stage are just enough to manage their basic personal expenses. Salaries at this stage can range between Rs 1 lakh and Rs 1.5 lakh per month, depending on the city you’re living in and the amount of funding the start-up has raised. As a thumb rule, no more than 10 per cent of the total funding amount goes into the hands of the founders if the funding is less than Rs 2 crore.

• Series A: At this point, you should negotiate with investors to double the salary payout to a monthly in-hand amount, which is at par with the talent the start-up has to hire on closing Series A.

• Series B: It is best to negotiate a secondary sale of some shareholding to incoming investors so as to generate some cash in hand, which can be used for building assets and savings. This is the first opportunity for the founder to cash out on their work and effort.

These are, of course, just indicative estimates. Actual salaries and founder payouts may vary with industry, size of the fundraise and need of the business.

4. Social Concerns

My wife comes from a family of people employed in top corporates. She herself was happily employed with Meta before taking the leap of faith to join me in my entrepreneurial venture. Needless to say, in the early stages she was hesitant to take the road less travelled. Understandably so, for it is not easy to let go of a job with defined responsibilities, fixed salary and defined reporting structures, in order to venture into uncharted terrain.

To add to your predicament, you are also faced with a host of social concerns. Friends and family could be calling you out on your decision to leave a cushy job, terming it untenable. Besides, you could also be witnessing the seemingly perfect lives of your peers on social media, replete with fancy vacations. It is the willingness to forgo social validation and deal with tons of ambiguity that is a big perquisite to the entrepreneurial path.

On the other extreme, if you are headed to the world of entrepreneurship driven by the glitz and glamour of newspaper headlines—of large funding rounds and the making of unicorns—you need to remember that behind every such headline are many more stories of pain and struggle that entrepreneurs need to be mentally prepared for. Think of any entrepreneur you look up to and odds are they have had more than their share of struggles and failure. Before Amazon became the huge success that it is today, Jeff Bezos had an array of failed ideas. Before starting PayPal and investing in companies like Facebook, Peter Thiel’s early hedge fund, Clarium Capital, reportedly lost 90 per cent of its $7 billion assets on the stock market, currencies and oil prices. Closer home, similar stories abound where entrepreneurs who are now seen as being extremely successful had to overcome the failure of several start-ups. Let these examples serve as encouragement to learn from your mistakes and remain steadfast on your path.

Ikigai Framework: Passion, Opportunity, Skill, Willingness to Pay

Having undertaken a brief assessment of your mindset and whether or not it is conducive to the rocky yet hugely fulfilling road to entrepreneurship, it is time now to move to the next important aspect—namely, how do you zero down on an effective idea?

There are several frameworks that help evaluate the feasibility of a business idea that are largely based on whether or not the idea solves a large enough problem, creates an impact and makes you some wealth in the bargain. While we will speak of spotting business opportunities in detail in a later section, I would like to introduce a framework that I find particularly helpful. The POS framework has three important constituents:
• Passion
• Opportunity
• Skill Set

In choosing an idea, you need to carefully evaluate three factors: whether you are passionate about the idea, if there is a market opportunity for it and whether or not you have complementary skills to see the idea to fruition. It stands to reason that if you have the passion for something and there’s a huge market opportunity for it but you do not have complementary skills to execute it, you are likely to fail. On the other hand, if there is an opportunity in the market for which you have the necessary skill set but no passion, you might make some money but with drudgery. After all, how long can you keep working on something you are not passionate about? Eventually, you will be exhausted. Conversely, if you have the passion and the requisite skills but there isn’t a large enough market opportunity, you may enjoy the experience but receive limited returns on your investment and eventually give up. All three: Passion, Opportunity and Skill Set, therefore need to be aligned for the business to work.

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The Echo of Our Actions

Karma never forgets. No matter how powerful we are, no matter how much we possess—our past actions never leave us. They are like shadows, inseparably tied to us, silently shaping our destiny. The law of karma spares no one. The pain we inflict on others finds its way back to us, shattering our peace. This is why even the wealthiest, most successful people can be haunted by anxiety despite having everything that anyone in this world could aspire for. True power is not in possession, but in purity. True peace is not in luxury, but in righteousness.

The Bhagavad Gita opens with a single question from Dhritarashtra, a question that reveals the deepseated fear lurking in his heart.

‘O Sanjaya, after my sons and the sons of Pandu assembled in the place of pilgrimage at Kurukshetra, desiring to fight, what did they do?’

This question, on the surface, seems ordinary but in reality reveals the deep-seated fear consuming his heart. He is not an ordinary man—he is a king, the ruler of an empire. He commands a vast army, boasts of the support of invincible warriors like Bhishma and Drona and sits upon the throne of Hastinapura. Yet, despite all of this, he is restless. His mind is clouded with anxiety, his heart heavy with dread.

When Silence Becomes Sin

The law of karma is merciless—it does not discriminate between a king and a beggar, between the mighty and the weak. It is an eternal force, ensuring that the consequences of our actions return to us, whether we are prepared for them or not. Dhritarashtra, though blind in sight, was never blind to the injustice that his sons, led by Duryodhana, inflicted upon the Pandavas. He knew of their deceit, their cruelty, their numerous attempts to destroy their noble cousins. Yet, he chose silence. He chose inaction. And by doing so, he became as guilty as the wrongdoers themselves.

Now, Dhritarashtra is extremely fearful about the aftermath of the war, and he anticipates the worst possible outcome for his sons, who stand on the battlefield facing the mighty Pandavas. He is well aware of the strength of the Pandavas, but his fears are magnified by the knowledge that the place chosen for the war is the holy land of the Kurukshetra.

Why a Holy Place Feels Like a Curse

A holy place adds to the powers of holy people and takes away from the powers of unholy people. He knows that his sons, headed by Duryodhana, are unholy at heart and hence, fears for their lives.

In addition, Krishna is on the Pandavas’ side as Arjuna’s charioteer, always willing to guide them. Thus, the powers of the already mighty Pandavas have received a major boost. The king is also worried that due to the positive influence of the Kurukshetra, Duryodhana might have a change of heart and return the kingdom to the Pandavas without a fight. Dhritarashtra does not want any such compromise. He would like to hold on to the throne till his last breath. His concerns multiplying with the minute, he asks his secretary about the events on the battlefield.

However, if we analyse carefully, we realize that he hardly has any reasons to worry. His sons’ army is
much bigger than that of the Pandavas. Duryodhana enjoys the support of invincible warriors like Bhishma and Drona and the finances and other logistics are on his side since he rules the kingdom.

What Goes Around, Comes Around

Then why is Dhritarashtra still fearful? It is because he is sinful. As per the law of karma, three people must share the fruits of karma equally: the doer, the director and the supporter. Dhritarashtra has been a constant supporter of his sons’ conspiracies to harm and even kill the Pandavas. Thus, he shares the sin equally with his sons.

Sin is always accompanied by fear.
When we wrong or hurt someone, that person may not retaliate, either as a voluntary choice or due to them not being strong enough to do anything. It may prompt us to think: ‘What can he or she do to me?’ But the pain that we have caused to a person, will certainly return to us from a different source in some way or the other, such that despite having everything, we will not be able to live in peace.

Creating mental distress, fear or anxiety in the mind is one of the ways in which the law of karma punishes wrongdoers. Thus, Dhritarashtra, despite apparently having everything in his support, is not peaceful. This is why even the wealthiest, most successful individuals— those who seemingly have everything—often battle inner demons of anxiety, guilt and restlessness.

Outwardly, they may bask in luxury, but within, they are prisoners of their own conscience. They have comforts but no real happiness and peace because in the pursuit of success, or due to the ego brought on by this success, they have wronged others.

On the other hand, when we do good to others, they may not be in a position to, or choose to not, do good to us, but the rewards of the good work that we have done will certainly return to us in some way or other from a different source. Thus, we must keep up the good work and take extra care to not cause any deliberate inconvenience to anyone.

A life built on deception and wrongdoing may rise high, but it will never stand firm. But a life rooted in truth, in goodness, in selfless action—that is a life unshaken, a life of real strength and above all, a life of peace.

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Read an exclusive excerpt from Assembling India’s Constitution: A New Democratic History by Ornit Shani and Rohit De — a groundbreaking book that reimagines how India’s Constitution came to be.

Introduction A New History of India’s Constitution Making ‘Everything was in a fluid state’, wrote the leaders of the Moshalchi community from Char Balasia village in an anxious letter that reached the Constituent Assembly of India in Delhi in May 1947. Life in their village, located at a tip of a char land at a fork of the Padma River in Bengal was precarious at all times. The char land was constantly subjected to the river’s mighty flow, and large pieces of land were cut off from one bank of the river to the other. Yet, in the early days of May 1947, the ‘fluid state’ at issue concerned imminent changes to their land brought about by political-administrative action rather than the force of nature. The eighty Moshalchi, who wrote on behalf of over 2,000 families, shared their concerns with the president of the Constituent Assembly of India:

The country is now on the threshold of momentous constitutional change. We did not press for justice so long as everything was in a fluid state. But now it is high time that the authorities should take stock of the situation and mete out even-handed justice. In the future constitution we should be treated as a separate Community, and there must be provisions for separate representation for us in the legislatures . . . so that our own culture and tradition may be maintained.

On the date that they drafted their letter, just two weeks before the announcement of the partition of India and Pakistan, the Moshalchi literally stood on shifting sand. Historically, as the river changed currents, it moved the char land across district boundaries and jurisdictions. They were, therefore, fully aware of the possibility that an international border could be drawn over their community. The Moshalchi professed Islam, but their letter reminded the Constituent Assembly that they were not fully recognised by the Muslim community and that they were ‘treated as out-caste, belonging neither to the Muslim nor to any other community’. Therefore, they explained, they were ‘crippled both politically as well as economically’.

At this critical moment, at the edges of freedom and political imagination, the Moshalchi saw an opportunity to achieve stability: to have their identity recognised, and their rights formalised in the new nation’s constitution. The Moshalchi were just one of countless groups and individuals across India who took such action and turned to the constitution as a resource for their future.

The story of India’s constitution making, as usually told, begins in the great metropolises of either London or Delhi. As the clock struck eleven on 9 December 1946, the story goes, the Constituent Assembly convened for the first time in Constitution Hall, New Delhi, to begin the prodigious task of framing a constitution for the soon-to-be-independent India, basing its work on a plan set by the British Cabinet Mission. The library hall of the Central Imperial Assembly was converted into the hall for the Constituent Assembly. The 205 assembly members who met on that morning, among them ten women, gathered in what was described as ‘an atmosphere charged on the one hand, with enthusiasm, and on the other with uncertainty’.5 In this classic account, a few key members of this group would become the founders of India’s constitution. In this telling, India’s good fortune was in having a handful of great men and women who, with foresight and benevolence, gifted a constitution to a people.

The Constituent Assembly’s members were not directly elected. They were, in the main, representatives of the elite, chosen by the legislative assemblies of the provinces of British India, which were themselves elected in the 1946 elections on the basis of a very limited franchise, and an electorate that was structured along religious, community, and professional lines, according to the colonial 1935 Government of India Act. The Assembly completed its work and adopted the constitution in November 1949. The constitution came into force on 26 January 1950.

In the canonical account, the workings of the Constituent Assembly in Delhi, its debates and the texts it produced between December 1946 and November 1949, form the cornerstone of India’s constitutional thought. The long and rich debates and their resulting constitutional text also became the main source for how scholars have understood the founding of India’s constitution. Scholars, thus, explained the production of the constitutional text as a result of elite consensual decision making, or conflicts, which drove its framing and lent legitimacy to the text. They have also emphasised the transformative power of the ideas that informed the new constitutional structure or, to the contrary, stressed the text’s continuity rather than break from the colonial constitutional framework.8 In both cases, the voluminous debates, spread over 5,546 pages in a set of five books, and the constitutional text have formed the principal source for understanding the constitution-making process and its implications for India’s democracy.

This book offers an alternative story. It explores the making of the Indian constitution as it emerged outside the Constituent Assembly, driven by diverse publics across the breadth and length of India’s territory and even beyond it.

By turning our gaze away from the Constituent Assembly, Assembling India’s Constitution, offers a new history and a new paradigm for understanding the making of the constitution. The book reveals the existence of multiple, parallel constitution-making processes underway across the subcontinent, showing that the Indian constitution was not solely an elite exercise anchored in the Constituent Assembly in Delhi. From the sparsely populated Spiti and Lahaul region in the northern Himalayas to the small village of Kattunedungulam in the deep south, from the remote Chittagong Hill Tracts in the east to the numerous princely states of Saurashtra in the west, and even as far away as Stockton, California, diverse Indian publics debated the future constitution and made constitutional demands. Informed by their lived social realities and experiences, the Indian public deeply engaged with the future constitution. This was an organic process that emerged from below. The 5,546 pages of the Constituent Assembly debates represent, we show, just a tiny portion of the thousands of pages documenting the wide-ranging deliberations on the making of the constitution that took place outside the Assembly.

Chapter 2

Unhappy Me

‘There are two tragedies in life . . .’

—Oscar Wilde

One is not getting what you wanted, and the other is getting it.

In 2010, I was thirty. I wasn’t in Forbes 30 under 30, but I might as well have been. I was already living the Indian dream. I was settled in the United States and married to the love of my life, Shivani. My father was proud of me, finally. Shivani and I had similar tastes. We liked historic neighbourhoods and old houses. We liked taking strolls. Bohemian cafes. Late night drives. We had a normal amount of tiffs, usually due to a mismatch in moods and not being able to communicate in an emotionally mature way. Nothing out of the ordinary.

I was having a lot of fun. I could eat out all I wanted, travel, get high and play video games all day, every day. I didn’t have to work—at all. I was finally free.

The only problem? I wasn’t happy.

I want to talk about a tendency here that most of us have. When we are not happy, we blame anything in sight that might not be performing as expected. I’d say most Indian parents would say they are not happy as their kids are not performing as well in school as other kids. Or, because they aren’t married. Or, because they have married someone that wasn’t the parents’ first choice. Or, because the kids haven’t had kids of their own. On and on it goes without them ever acknowledging that they aren’t happy as they never learnt to be happy! No smart person will ever get in a car not knowing how to drive and start driving it with an expectation of doing it right. Yet, that’s our expectation from life. We never learn how to live, how to be happy, yet think we can live a good life and be happy. It’s easy to see how silly that is with external things—such as a car—but, like any other internal mental function (or dysfunction), we are just so blind to it.

Anyway.

I didn’t have anything I could blame! Not only had I checked all the checkboxes on the template that’s handed down to us, I was also free! There was nothing wrong with me physiologically. I wasn’t low on vitamin B12 or D3. I wasn’t chronically under-slept, dehydrated or malnourished. Yet, I was not happy. In fact, not being happy was making me more unhappy . . . which was incredibly sad indeed. This sadness was making me want to kill myself. I wasn’t emotionally overwhelmed to the point where I would be blinded to its impact on others around me though. So instead, I decided that I will try to learn how to become a happy person, for which I first had to learn how to become a person.

Chapter 3

A Small Breakthrough

‘Life swings like a pendulum backward and forward between pain and boredom.’

—Arthur Schopenhauer

We are trained to become a professional whatever, but not to become a proper person. Nobody teaches us about personhood. We get a manual for the gadgets and machines we buy, but none for ourselves. I needed an education in being a person. I started spending more time at the public library in Tucson. It was there that I got the education I never received at school.

Now, places like libraries—where there’s a lot of information or stimulation—can be overwhelming for me. I don’t know why I am like that. Maybe because I am curious and everything interests me.

I understand that all of us can get sucked into information and that probably has an evolutionary basis. Early on, people who had more information—where are most bushes with berries or where are the cleanest safest streams of water—fared better than others and got to pass down their genes. Which is why we—the modern version of berry hunting apes—get sucked into everything from celebrity gossip to infotainment provided by YouTube educators.

Anyway, my tendency to get sucked into an excess of information has always been dialled to the max, and a simple quote I’d read early on in my life by a poet, Jalaluddin Rumi, has helped me keep it under control: ‘The art of knowing is knowing what to ignore.’ Great statement, except to know what to ignore, you need to know what is not of utility, and for that you need to know the purpose.

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Get your copy of Happiness Happens on Amazon or wherever books are sold.