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Why does losing someone hurt so much?

All of us, at some point in our lives have gone through the loss of a loved one. Most of all, we never quite know how to deal with these experiences and that’s where The Millennial Yogi steps in.


Here is an excerpt from the incredible book written by Deepam Chatterjee, where he explores the idea of death and loss.



TMY cover
The Millennial Yogi||DeepamChatterjee

‘Speak to us of loss. Why does losing someone hurt so much?’ a man at the majlis asked Vini.

‘Loss isn’t such a bad thing. When we are attached to things, we don’t want them to change. But the reality is, deep in our hearts we already know that nothing will last forever, and we hope against hope that things won’t change. When someone we really love is taken from us, we are saddened. Although we know that we cannot bring back the past, we ache and hurt because we want their comforting presence in our lives forever. It is very important to grieve when we lose someone. Grieving makes us tender and brings us close to our heart. Different people grieve differently.’


‘Some people think that grieving makes them weak. They suppress their pain and become hardened,’ someone at the majlis observed.


Vini nodded in agreement. ‘Sometimes loss can make us hateful and bitter. We can either grow into beautiful people through loss, or we can become bitter and angry. It is a choice we have to make ourselves,’


Vini explained gently. ‘Ash had gone through so much loss in his life, and it changed him. But as time passed, old patterns began surfacing. Ash was at a crucial juncture of his life . . .’


There were subtle signs that only an awakened soul could read. The old man knew that time was short. Ash was at a crucial juncture of his life. He was on the verge of falling back into the vagaries of the material world. But, if pushed in the right direction, he could attain great spiritual heights.


The old man knew that the push wasn’t going to be pleasant for Ash.


The next time the man came for his beedis, Ash told him that he was ready to work for him, as he wanted to save some money and begin a business. The old man nodded slowly and told him to head back to the forest with him that evening.


‘But remember, Ashwini, you will have to do exactly what I tell you.’


‘I am sure I will manage, Babaji. Your work can’t be too tough. Let me go and collect my things,’ Ash said.


The man smiled gently and left for the gathering. When he finished, Ash was waiting with a duffle bag in his hand. He was quite proud of the fact that he had been able to fit all his worldly possessions into one bag. Mangal stood slightly behind him with folded hands. He was happy for Ash. The old man saw them and nodded. He gave his ektara to Ash to carry and began shuffling back towards the forest.


Ash slung his bag over his shoulder and followed him. They walked quietly for some time, and all Ash could hear was the sound of their feet and the old man’s laboured breathing.


‘May I know your name?’ Ash asked the man.


‘Eh?’ The man stopped and turned his head to hear better. Ash realized that he was probably a bit hard of hearing.


‘Your name. I mean, it cannot be Baba. You must have a name,’ Ash said.


‘Oh,’ the man wheezed. ‘Call me anything you want to. It hardly matters what you call me.’


‘But I am sure you have a name, Baba,’ Ash persisted.


The old man sighed and said, ‘Ajaat. Call me Ajaat. That is a good name.’ His face crinkled into a smile.


‘Ajaat. That’s an unusual name. What does it mean?’


‘It means “the Unborn”. We all are Ajaat, beta. No one’s ever born, no one ever dies,’ he said as he sat down on a rock to catch his breath.


To know more about life and death and all that plays out in between and gather the energy to deal with all of it, get your copy of The Millennial Yogi now.




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